Skip to main content  
  Helping the environment one joke at a time, Grinning Planet. Click to go to home page. flying letter; click to go to signup page for free email version
Get GP free
via email !
 
   
       
 

FUNNY SCHOOL QUOTES

These funny school quotes include funny high school quotes and good bully quotes.

    PAGE INDEX
 
  Bookmark and Share
 

Funny School Quotes . . .
GENERAL

"If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers."

Edgar W. Howe

"My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years."

Paul Merton

"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."

Mark Twain

"We all learn by experience but some of us have to go to summer school."

Peter De Vries

"But there are advantages to being elected President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret."

Ronald Reagan

"In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends."

David Spade

"My mother tells this story that when I first went to school, I thought I was going to help the teachers. I didn't realize I was going to get educated."

Moon Unit Zappa

"Remember in elementary school you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file from smallest to tallest? What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?"

Warren Hutcherson

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."

Mark Twain

"Thank goodness I was never sent to school; it would have rubbed off some of the originality."

Beatrix Potter

"There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in."

Will Rogers

"True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country."

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

"I never did very well in math—I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally."

Calvin Trillin

"As long as teachers give tests, there will always be prayer in schools."

Unknown

"My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers."

Woody Allen

"We all learn by experience but some of us have to go to summer school."

Peter De Vries


ADVERTISEMENT

 

Funny Quotes About School . . .
GOOD BULLY QUOTES

"Show me a man who has enjoyed his school days and I'll show you a bully and a bore."

Robert Morely

"I was the naughty kid that the teachers liked. I bullied a kid in the 1st year when I was in the 2nd, who then hit puberty like a plane crash and grew into a gorilla who bullied me when he was in the 4th year and I was in the 5th. That's Karma."

Simon Pegg

"Remember, I'm the kind of kid who used to get stuffed into a locker by school bullies. I've never felt like I'm a big star at any level of my life."

Winona Ryder


FREE AUDIO CLIPS

free audio news clips link; image of zombie kid - DON'T BE A MAINSTREAM MEDIA DRONE! - Free MP3 news download at Grinning Planet
 

Funny School Quotes . . .
FUNNY QUOTES ON SCHOOL VIOLENCE

"In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window."

Rodney Dangerfield

"I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to be if I grow up."

Lenny Bruce

"My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section."

Norm Crosby

 

Funny Quotes About School . . .
FROM LEFT FIELD

"I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did."

Jeff Foxworthy

"I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100."

Woody Allen

"I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did."

Yogi Berra

"My father wanted me to have all the educational opportunities he never had, so he sent me to a girls school."

Jack Herbert

"My school colors were clear. We used to say, 'I'm not naked, I'm in the band.' "

Stephen Wright

"You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day."

Jay Mohr

 

Funny School Quotes . . .
THAT'S JUST SAD

"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world."

Dan Quayle

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."

Dan Quayle



 

THE EVER-POPULAR TORTURED SEGUE

 

thumb of ant If you've been spending a lot of time trying to rid your house of little ants, we'd be happy to school you on a natural (and cheap) method for dealing with sugar ants ...

 

Funny School Quotes
COMM. CENTER & RELATED STUFF

SIMILAR CATEGORIES

Funny Education Quotes

Funny College Quotes

Funny Teacher Quotes

Funny Science Quotes

Funny Violence Quotes

Funny Church Quotes

Funny Summer Quotes

Funny Environmental Quotes

Funny Quote subject list

Jokes/Cartoons (General)

PASS ’EM ON!

Do you know someone who would like these funny school quotes? Please  forward to them.

Bookmark and Share

SEND ME A
FUNNY SCHOOL QUOTE

If you know of a funny school quote that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it; and, if you have it, a reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name (a web page address, Bartlett's, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

 

Feed Your Brain!
AUDIO CLIPS
LEARNING CAN BE FUN!

CATEGORY:  HUMOR, LITERATURE — 22.FEB.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Dead Authors Podcast

Agatha Christie — H.G. Wells (Paul F. Tompkins) interviews Agatha Christie (Jessica Chaffin). Topics include hanging with the upper crust; Murder on the Orient Express; failed relationships and non-murderous ways of moving on; Christie's strange disappearance from 3-14 December, 1926; the smashingly elegant nature of smoking; how babies fail as conversationalists; Poirot the know-it-all, nursery rhymes as novel titles.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   56:08

GP comment:  Chaffin is marvelous, capturing Dame Agatha as our funny bones imagine she would have been.

Original Show Pub Date: 02.Apr.2013

CATEGORY:  FINANCIAL, ELITES — 14.JAN.2014

Rating: 3 of 5 - Good, worth a listen The Daily Show

Slumdogs vs. Millionaires—Moral Hazard — John Stewart reviews the concerted effort by conservative politicians and the right-wing spin machine to slash unemployment insurance and other benefits to low income people as a response to instances of fraud. He contrasts that position with their defense of the Wall Street system, which spawned now-legendary levels of fraud.
Watch  |  Download/Listen   4:52

GP comment:  The truly ludicrous thing about the attempt to slash welfare spending is that it cannot fix the government debt problem, which is structural—it's built into the current (Federal Reserve) design of the money system. Overall spending must continue to grow or the Ponzi scheme collapses.

Original Show Pub Date: 09.Jan.2014

CATEGORY:  FUN, LITERATURE, HISTORY — 01.FEB.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Dead Authors

Charles Dickens and O. Henry — H.G. Wells (Paul F. Tompkins) hosts Charles Dickens (Hal Lublin) and O. Henry (Marc Evan Jackson) in a funny discussion. Topics include "The Gift of the Maji," "A Christmas Carol," pen names, story inspirations, defenders of the poor, and plot twists.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   46:43

GP comment:  Quite funny. The actors playing Dickens and Henry are very clever.

Original Show Pub Date: 20.Dec.2011

MORE

Get more audio clips on history, learning and fun (and many other subjects) in Grinning Planet's biweekly downloadable audio news feed.

 

SEARCH AMAZON.COM ....

     
 

AMAZON PURCHASES FROM HERE HELP SUPPORT THIS FREE SITE. THANKS!

    

BACK TO TOP

 

Hey, we don't pick
the Google ads!   – GP

 
CLICKS ON OUR ADS AND PURCHASES VIA OUR AMAZON LINKS HELP SUPPORT THIS FREE SITE... THANKS!

 

image of Will Rogers; click to view Will Rogers books on Amazon dot com

View on Amazon.com:

Will Rogers books

 

photo of Woody Allen; click to view Woody Allen books on Amazon dot com

View on Amazon.com:

Woody Allen  books
Woody Allen  movies

thumb of onion; click to go to audio page at external site; opens in new window

TODAY IN DETENTION, "FUNNY SCHOOL VIOLENCE"

Is school violence funny? Not really! But some of us were born to find the funny lining in every dark cloud, so here is some more funny stuff about school and violence therein. Funny audio from The Onion:
(1) Bully Sidekick Gets Spin-Off Beating Deal
(2) Nation's Substitute Teachers Would Like To Know Who Threw That

Or see more ...
Funny Animations, Videos and Audio

 

picture of Steven Wright; click to view Steven Wright DVDs and CDs on Amazon dot com

View on Amazon.com:

Steven Wright DVDs & CDs

   

GP CARTOONS RELATED TO
School

 
teacher cartoon link; thumb of school teacher WHAT TEACHERS HATE ABOUT THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL
Teacher Cartoon
 
BAD PRINCIPAL JOKE link; thumb of frightened student SIGNS THAT YOUR HIGH SCHOOL HAS A BAD PRINCIPAL
Bad Principal Joke
 
Reform School Cartoon/Joke link; thumb of reform school bully WHAT KIDS HATE ABOUT REFORM SCHOOL
Reform School Cartoon/Joke
 
School Violence cartoon link; thumb of principal SIGNS YOUR SCHOOL IS CRACKING DOWN ON VIOLENCE
School Violence Cartoon
       
   >              
   > document gif Sign up to get Grinning Planet free by email, or get more info about it Email a link to this page to someone  
   > Copyright 2014 © Mark Jeantheau — All rights reserved.   More info  
   
   
 
 
NEWS, ARTICLES, INFO

MP3 News Download
Video/Audio News Sites
Environmental News Sites
Investigative Journalism Sites

Environment/Energy/Economy
    - Articles/Resources By Topic
    - Articles By Date

Environmental Quotes
    - Funny Environmental Quotes
    - Peak Oil Quotes

Environmental Cartoons/Jokes
    - Environmental Videos/Animations

Environmental Products
Eco/Nature Greeting Cards

Grinning Planet Farm

FUNNY STUFF

Funny Jokes/Cartoons
    - Environmental Cartoons

Funny Animations/Videos
    - Environmental Animations/Videos

Funny Quotes
    - Environmental Funny Quotes

BOOKS

Environmental Books
Global Warming Books
Energy Books
Solar Energy Books
Peak Oil Books
Food-Gardening Books
Media Books

 
MUSIC & MOVIES

Environmental Movies
Environmental Songs
Environmental Music Videos

Album Reviews
Fun With Lyrics

ADMIN

Home Page
Search
Site Map
About Us
FAQs
Contact
Free Subscriptions
Unsubscribe
Privacy Policy