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FUNNY TEACHER QUOTES, HUMOROUS QUOTATIONS ABOUT SCHOOL TEACHERS, QUOTE

FUNNY TEACHER QUOTES

 
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Funny Teacher Quotes . . .
GENERAL

"To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler—and less trouble."

Mark Twain

"I never did very well in math—I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally."

Calvin Trillin

"My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers."

Woody Allen

"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils."

Louis-Hector Berlioz

"If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure."

Bill Gates

"Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years."

Gracie Allen

"You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day."

Jay Mohr

"As long as teachers give tests, there will always be prayer in schools."

Unknown


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Funny School Teacher Quotes . . .
FUNNY AND SAD

"We need excellence in public education and if the teachers can't do it, we'll send in a couple of policemen."

Frank Rizzo

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."

Dan Quayle


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Funny Quotes about School Teachers . . .
STRANGELY FUNNY

"The teacher should make a concerted effort never to lose his temper in the presence of the class. If a man, he may take refuge in profane soliloquies. If a woman, she may follow the example of one sweet-faced tranquil girl who went out in the yard and gnawed a post."

William Lyon Phelps

"I had, out of my sixty teachers, a scant half dozen who couldn't have been supplanted by phonographs."

Don Herold

"Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher."

Flannery O'Connor

"If you wind up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest or some guy on TV telling you how to do [things], then YOU DESERVE IT."

Frank Zappa

"One can always tell it's summer when one sees school teachers hanging about the streets idly, looking like cannibals during a shortage of missionaries."

Robertson Davies

 

Funny Quotes about Teachers . . .
SORT OF ABOUT TEACHERS

"A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student."

Henry Youngman

"Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills."

Minna Thomas Antrim

"The 2 rules of Judo training: 1) the teacher is always right and 2) when you think the teacher is wrong, refer to rule one."

Unknown

Funny Teacher Quotes
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If you know of a funny teacher quote that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it; and, if you have it, a reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name (a web page address, Bartlett's, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

THE EVER-POPULAR TORTURED SEGUE

Is your school poisoning bodies at the same time it's nurturing minds? Grab the squeaky chalk and head to the next page to learn about health and safety in schools ...

 

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AUDIO CLIPS
TEACHING TRUTH

CATEGORY:  ENERGY, PEAK OIL — 07.AUG.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Conversations with Great Minds

Richard Heinberg on Peak Oil—Past, Present, and Future — Energy anthropologist Richard Heinberg talks about energy as the most important driver in our economy, and oil as the most important of the various energy sources. Topics include the relevance of M. King Hubbard's predictions; conventional oil and tight oil; energy density for oil vs. batteries; why the future will necessarily have less available energy.
Watch  |  Download/listen   25:40

GP comment:  Heinberg is still the world's clearest presenter on this topic, even if he does pull his punches a bit on just how screwed we are.

Original Show Pub Date: 01.Aug.2014

CATEGORY:  EMPIRE, MEDIA — 30.JUL.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good The Lifeboat Hour

Abby Martin on Western Media Self-Censorship — Carolyn Baker interviews the savvy RT anchor Abby Martin. Topics include Ukraine and Martin's outspoken stance on the forces of empire; the mainstream news bias on the Israeli bombing of Gaza; and broader media issues. She points out that Western mainstream outlets do not need to be censored by the corp-gov state—they censor themselves.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   58:30

GP comment:  Martin speaks intelligently on these topics.

Original Show Pub Date: 27.Jul.2014

CATEGORY:  GARDENING — 08.AUG.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good You Bet Your Garden

Bat Houses, Lawn Chemical Breakdown, Garden on Wheels, Gooseberries, more — Master gardener Mike McGrath answers garden questions, such as... How do I design a raised bed to keep grasses from growing into the new soil? What is the best design for a bat house? When is an area too wet for a fruit tree? How long does it take lawn chemicals to completely break down after applications stop? He also interviews the inventor of the "Garden on Wheels," a portable raised-bed design that incorporates a frost cover and water recycling. In the question of the week, McGrath covers gooseberries (which taste a bit like grapes), including sun/shade requirements, climate, and disease-resistant varieties.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   52:58

GP comment:  The Garden on Wheels has some nice design ideas that are widely applicable, but this particular item will likely be too limited and pricey for average gardeners who are not limited by physical challenges.

Original Show Pub Date: 19.Jul.2014

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Links for School Teacher
FUNNY VIDEO

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THE SCHOOL TEACHER AND THE VIRGIN MARY

Innocence or impertinence?? You decide... while you laugh. From Chewin' the Fat via YouTube ... Go there

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