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FUNNY TEACHER QUOTES, HUMOROUS QUOTATIONS ABOUT SCHOOL TEACHERS, QUOTE

FUNNY TEACHER QUOTES

 
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Funny Teacher Quotes . . .
GENERAL

"To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler—and less trouble."

Mark Twain

"I never did very well in math—I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally."

Calvin Trillin

"My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers."

Woody Allen

"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils."

Louis-Hector Berlioz

"If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure."

Bill Gates

"Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years."

Gracie Allen

"You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day."

Jay Mohr

"As long as teachers give tests, there will always be prayer in schools."

Unknown


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Funny School Teacher Quotes . . .
FUNNY AND SAD

"We need excellence in public education and if the teachers can't do it, we'll send in a couple of policemen."

Frank Rizzo

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."

Dan Quayle


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Funny Quotes about School Teachers . . .
STRANGELY FUNNY

"The teacher should make a concerted effort never to lose his temper in the presence of the class. If a man, he may take refuge in profane soliloquies. If a woman, she may follow the example of one sweet-faced tranquil girl who went out in the yard and gnawed a post."

William Lyon Phelps

"I had, out of my sixty teachers, a scant half dozen who couldn't have been supplanted by phonographs."

Don Herold

"Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher."

Flannery O'Connor

"If you wind up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest or some guy on TV telling you how to do [things], then YOU DESERVE IT."

Frank Zappa

"One can always tell it's summer when one sees school teachers hanging about the streets idly, looking like cannibals during a shortage of missionaries."

Robertson Davies

 

Funny Quotes about Teachers . . .
SORT OF ABOUT TEACHERS

"A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student."

Henry Youngman

"Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills."

Minna Thomas Antrim

"The 2 rules of Judo training: 1) the teacher is always right and 2) when you think the teacher is wrong, refer to rule one."

Unknown

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If you know of a funny teacher quote that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it; and, if you have it, a reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name (a web page address, Bartlett's, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

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Is your school poisoning bodies at the same time it's nurturing minds? Grab the squeaky chalk and head to the next page to learn about health and safety in schools ...

 

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AUDIO CLIPS
TEACHING TRUTH

CATEGORY:  NUCLEAR — 08.MAR.2014

Rating: 5 of 5 - Must-listening! Green Power And Wellness

The Crazy Train That is the Nuclear Power Establishment — David Lochbaum and Susan Stranahan of the Union of Concerned Scientists give us the layman's version of what went wrong at Fukushima, what design (cost-saving) choices were made during the construction phase that exacerbated the disaster, and why numerous US reactors face similar potential calamities. They also reveal many examples of shockingly irresponsible decisions by companies that run nuclear plants and by their ostensible overseer, the Nuclear Regulator Commission.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   58:35

GP comment:  This is an excellent review, with detail that is technical enough to be convincing but not so technical we can't grasp it. Plenty of sardonic humor too.

Original Show Pub Date: 04.Mar.2014

CATEGORY:  EMPIRE — 08.MAR.2014

Rating: 5 of 5 - Must-listening! The Keiser Report

Dmitry Orlov on Russia vs. the West in Ukraine — Max Keiser and Stacy Herbert talk about bad free trade deals and discounted EU memberships. ~~ Then Dmitry Orlov explains the tug-of-war between the EU/US and Russia over Ukraine. Basically, Ukraine needed an economic lifeline; the EU deal stunk; the Russian deal was accepted; the West fomented revolution and their neo-Nazi allies got in. But Orlov says the current thugs in power have no legitimacy or popularity, and Ukraine will eventually end up in Russia's sphere because that's the only plan that really makes sense for Ukraine.
Watch  |  Download/listen   25:45

GP comment:  This is easily the best analysis I've heard on Ukraine—rated 5/5!

Original Show Pub Date: 06.Mar.2014

CATEGORY:  SPECIES — 05.MAR.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Living On Earth

Gray Wolf to Lose Federal Protection Due to Regulatory Trickery — The US Fish & Wildlife Service plans to drop federal protection for the gray wolf on the basis of a taxonomic reclassification. Geneticist Bob Wayne explains the, um, scientific shortcomings of this action and the repercussions for wolves.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   6:14

GP comment:  Evil never sleeps.

Original Show Pub Date: 28.Feb.2014

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Links for School Teacher
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THE SCHOOL TEACHER AND THE VIRGIN MARY

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