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FUNNY TEACHER QUOTES, HUMOROUS QUOTATIONS ABOUT SCHOOL TEACHERS, QUOTE

FUNNY TEACHER QUOTES

 
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Funny Teacher Quotes . . .
GENERAL

"To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler—and less trouble."

Mark Twain

"I never did very well in math—I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally."

Calvin Trillin

"My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers."

Woody Allen

"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils."

Louis-Hector Berlioz

"If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure."

Bill Gates

"Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years."

Gracie Allen

"You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day."

Jay Mohr

"As long as teachers give tests, there will always be prayer in schools."

Unknown


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Funny School Teacher Quotes . . .
FUNNY AND SAD

"We need excellence in public education and if the teachers can't do it, we'll send in a couple of policemen."

Frank Rizzo

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."

Dan Quayle


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Funny Quotes about School Teachers . . .
STRANGELY FUNNY

"The teacher should make a concerted effort never to lose his temper in the presence of the class. If a man, he may take refuge in profane soliloquies. If a woman, she may follow the example of one sweet-faced tranquil girl who went out in the yard and gnawed a post."

William Lyon Phelps

"I had, out of my sixty teachers, a scant half dozen who couldn't have been supplanted by phonographs."

Don Herold

"Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher."

Flannery O'Connor

"If you wind up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest or some guy on TV telling you how to do [things], then YOU DESERVE IT."

Frank Zappa

"One can always tell it's summer when one sees school teachers hanging about the streets idly, looking like cannibals during a shortage of missionaries."

Robertson Davies

 

Funny Quotes about Teachers . . .
SORT OF ABOUT TEACHERS

"A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student."

Henry Youngman

"Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills."

Minna Thomas Antrim

"The 2 rules of Judo training: 1) the teacher is always right and 2) when you think the teacher is wrong, refer to rule one."

Unknown

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If you know of a funny teacher quote that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it; and, if you have it, a reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name (a web page address, Bartlett's, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

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TEACHING TRUTH

CATEGORY:  EMPIRE, FINANCIAL, COLLAPSE — 05.SEP.2014

Rating: 5 of 5 - Must-listening! ExtraEnvironmentalist

Falling Empires — John Michael Greer offers a superb summary of the US as an empire, covering important topics such as .... the US as the first empire that does not call itself one; empire as a means of extracting wealth from outside the empire and transferring it inside the empire; the role of energy in the development of the US empire; the doubletalk of empire; how empires transition to oligarchies and ultimately end; why a new constitutional convention as a path to reclaiming democracy might backfire. ~~ Then Chris Martenson talks about the financial system as the most likely sector to have an empire-threatening catastrophe.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   2:06:35

GP comment:  I have a few minor differences with both Greer and Martenson, but overall, they present a clear and coherent picture of empire and inevitable collapse. Greer may turn out to be right that no one is in charge of the crazy train, but I doubt it. There's too much at stake for those who covet money and power, and the rest of us are mostly just trying to survive our little lives.

Original Show Pub Date: 02.Sep.2014

CATEGORY:  AGRICULTURE — 03.SEP.2014

Rating: 5 of 5 - Must-listening! Agroinnovations Podcast

Small-Scale Sustainable Agriculture—$90K per Acre, or Heartache By the Numbers? — Dr. Joe Kovach of Ohio State University describes a small-scale mixed fruit-vegetable polyculture designed to produce steady, high-yields with a good economic return on investment. Labor inputs, pest pressures, weed control, crop selection, retail sales, and marketing are all discussed in some detail. ~~ In part 2, Frank Aragona shares several articles that depict small-scale sustainable agriculture as a financial struggle, even for those with abundant capital and land resources. With story after story of small-scale sustainable producers struggling to make ends meet, he explores whether the permaculture movement is a failure on socio-economic grounds. Some suggestions for moving forward are offered.
Go to page A  |  Download/listen A   42:20
Go to page B  |  Download/listen B   34:43

GP comment:  Both clips are very insightful for anyone who is contemplating small-scale organic growing—or is already trying to make it work.

Original Show Pub Date: 18.Aug.2014

CATEGORY:  CLIMATE, COLLAPSE — 24.SEP.2014

Rating: 5 of 5 - Must-listening! Radio Ecoshock

Near-Term Climate-Driven Human Extinction—Or Not — In the first clip, conservation biologist Guy McPherson lays out his case that runaway feedback mechanisms have already been tripped and will alter the climate so significantly that humans will be unable to survive—and we'll be toast within just a few decades. Psychologist Carolyn Baker agrees and offers tips on how to live a happy life in the meantime. ~~ In part two, environmental writer Scott K. Johnson says it ain't so, that McPherson cherry picks data and extrapolates in inappropriate ways. Podcaster KMO, an excellent deep-thinker on collapse issues, says McPherson seems to be trying to make the data fit his foregone conclusions. Just as "collapse from peak oil" has not happened as precipitously as many predicted, so neither is "collapse from climate chaos" likely to drive human extinction in our lifetimes.
Go to page A  |  Download/listen A   1:00:00
Go to page B  |  Download/listen B   1:00:00

GP comment:  I agree that McPherson is likely overstating the case, though there are enough possible bad climate scenarios that his message can't be discounted completely. What no one here mentioned is that no countries or politicians—and not even most of the scientists or environmentalists—are advocating the sort of radical climate action that would actually solve the problem. Climate chaos is coming, even if it's not in McPherson's timeframe.

Original Show Pub Date: 17.Sep.2014

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