Skip to main content  
  Helping the environment one joke at a time, Grinning Planet. Click to go to home page. flying letter; click to go to signup page for free email version
Get GP free
via email !
 
   
       
 

FUNNY TEACHER QUOTES, HUMOROUS QUOTATIONS ABOUT SCHOOL TEACHERS, QUOTE

FUNNY TEACHER QUOTES

 
    PAGE INDEX
 
  Bookmark and Share
 

Funny Teacher Quotes . . .
GENERAL

"To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler—and less trouble."

Mark Twain

"I never did very well in math—I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally."

Calvin Trillin

"My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers."

Woody Allen

"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils."

Louis-Hector Berlioz

"If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure."

Bill Gates

"Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years."

Gracie Allen

"You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day."

Jay Mohr

"As long as teachers give tests, there will always be prayer in schools."

Unknown


ADVERTISEMENT

 

Funny School Teacher Quotes . . .
FUNNY AND SAD

"We need excellence in public education and if the teachers can't do it, we'll send in a couple of policemen."

Frank Rizzo

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."

Dan Quayle


FREE AUDIO CLIPS

free audio news clips link; image of zombie kid - DON'T BE A MAINSTREAM MEDIA DRONE! - Free MP3 news download at Grinning Planet
 

Funny Quotes about School Teachers . . .
STRANGELY FUNNY

"The teacher should make a concerted effort never to lose his temper in the presence of the class. If a man, he may take refuge in profane soliloquies. If a woman, she may follow the example of one sweet-faced tranquil girl who went out in the yard and gnawed a post."

William Lyon Phelps

"I had, out of my sixty teachers, a scant half dozen who couldn't have been supplanted by phonographs."

Don Herold

"Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher."

Flannery O'Connor

"If you wind up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest or some guy on TV telling you how to do [things], then YOU DESERVE IT."

Frank Zappa

"One can always tell it's summer when one sees school teachers hanging about the streets idly, looking like cannibals during a shortage of missionaries."

Robertson Davies

 

Funny Quotes about Teachers . . .
SORT OF ABOUT TEACHERS

"A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student."

Henry Youngman

"Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills."

Minna Thomas Antrim

"The 2 rules of Judo training: 1) the teacher is always right and 2) when you think the teacher is wrong, refer to rule one."

Unknown

Funny Teacher Quotes
COMM. CENTER & RELATED STUFF

SIMILAR CATEGORIES

Funny Education Quotes

Funny School Quotes

Funny College Quotes

Funny Science Quotes

Funny Environmental Quotes

Funny Quote subject list

Jokes/Cartoons (General)

PASS ’EM ON!

Do you know someone who would like these funny quotes about school teachers? Please  forward to them.

Bookmark and Share

SEND ME A
FUNNY TEACHER QUOTE

If you know of a funny teacher quote that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it; and, if you have it, a reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name (a web page address, Bartlett's, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

THE EVER-POPULAR TORTURED SEGUE

Is your school poisoning bodies at the same time it's nurturing minds? Grab the squeaky chalk and head to the next page to learn about health and safety in schools ...

 

Feed Your Brain!
AUDIO CLIPS
TEACHING TRUTH

CATEGORY:  EMPIRE — 01.SEP.2014

Rating: 5 of 5 - Must-listening! Washington Journal

Richard Gage of Architects and Engineers for 9/11 Truth on C-SPAN — Richard Gage, founder of the group Architects and Engineers for 9/11 Truth discusses their evidence that Building 7 was destroyed by controlled demolition on September 11th. The group is calling for an open investigation into the science and facts of 9/11. Topics include: why modern skyscrapers with high-stgrength steel supports cannot collapse in free fall without controlled demolition; refutation of various claims by NIST in their analysis (cover-up); and evidence for use of the high-tech demolition explosive thermite.
Watch  |  Download/listen A   39:41

GP comment:  Excellent that this got on C-SPAN. The 9/11 crime is similar to the JFK murder—if left unsolved, it will be another huge helping of impugnity for the corrupt cabal that runs things, which will ultimately lead to true totalitarianism.

Original Show Pub Date: 01.Aug.2014

CATEGORY:  ENERGY, ENVIRONMENT, FINANCIAL — 20.AUG.2014

Rating: 5 of 5 - Must-listening! Post Carbon Institute

Humans—Are We the Borg? ... Or Merely Delusional? — In an hour and a half, ecological economist Nate Hagens offers up a grand tour of how the human-dominated planet works, or more accurately, mis-works. It all comes down to bad programming—science shows that we humans are predisposed to making bad choices; or at least making choices that bolster short-term, selfish desires at the expense of long-term, altruistic interests. Energy, or an increasing lack thereof relative to our needs, is the hammer that will force us to recognize reality and make increasingly hard choices.
Watch  |  Download/listen   1:30:00

GP comment:  Must listening. And Hagens is kind enough to explain how we "aware humans" can navigate the seemingly impossible mission ahead.

Original Show Pub Date: 29.Jul.2014

CATEGORY:  FINANCIAL — 11.AUG.2014

Rating: 5 of 5 - Must-listening! Corbett Report

Century of Enslavement—The History of The Federal Reserve — War. Poverty. Revolution. They all hinge on economics. And economics rests on one key concept: money. But what is money? How is it created? Who controls it? It is remarkable that, given its central importance in our lives, not one person in a hundred can answer such basic questions about money. James Corbett's new documentary, Century of Enslavement—The History of The Federal Reserve, endeavors to enlighten the public on the machinations of the banksters over the last few centuries, culminating in 1913 in the creation of their main tool, the Federal Reserve.
Watch  |  Download/listen   1:29:57

GP comment:  Corbett is clear, cogent, and well researched on the topic. His film is not quite as engaging as The Money Masters, though it is more up-to-date.

Original Show Pub Date: 06.Jul.2014

MORE

That's just a small sampling of stories from the audio download stream on Grinning Planet. Get more audio clips on many subjects from non-mainstream media sources in Grinning Planet's biweekly downloadable audio news feed.

 

SEARCH AMAZON.COM FOR MORE FUNNY STUFF ABOUT TEACHERS

     
 

AMAZON PURCHASES FROM HERE HELP SUPPORT THIS FREE SITE. THANKS!

    

BACK TO TOP

 

Hey, we don't pick
the Google ads!   – GP

 
CLICKS ON OUR ADS AND PURCHASES VIA OUR AMAZON LINKS HELP SUPPORT THIS FREE SITE... THANKS!

 

photo of Woody Allen; click to view Woody Allen books on Amazon dot com

View on Amazon.com:

Woody Allen  books
Woody Allen  movies

 

Links for School Teacher
FUNNY VIDEO

funny angry teacher; link for funny video; click to see video at YouTube

THE SCHOOL TEACHER AND THE VIRGIN MARY

Innocence or impertinence?? You decide... while you laugh. From Chewin' the Fat via YouTube ... Go there

Or see more ...
Funny Animations/Videos

   

GP CARTOONS RELATED TO
Teacher

 
teacher cartoon link; thumb of school teacher WHAT TEACHERS HATE ABOUT THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL
School Teacher Cartoon
 
Bad College Professor Cartoon link; thumb of a goofy college professor HOW TO TELL IF YOU'VE GOTTEN A BAD COLLEGE PROFESSOR
Professor Cartoon
       
   >              
   > document gif Sign up to get Grinning Planet free by email, or get more info about it Email a link to this page to someone  
   > Copyright 2014 © Mark Jeantheau — All rights reserved.   More info  
   
   
 
 
NEWS, ARTICLES, INFO

MP3 News Download
Video/Audio News Sites
Environmental News Sites
Investigative Journalism Sites

Environment/Energy/Economy
    - Articles/Resources By Topic
    - Articles By Date

Environmental Quotes
    - Funny Environmental Quotes
    - Peak Oil Quotes

Environmental Cartoons/Jokes
    - Environmental Videos/Animations

Environmental Products
Eco/Nature Greeting Cards

Grinning Planet Farm

FUNNY STUFF

Funny Jokes/Cartoons
    - Environmental Cartoons

Funny Animations/Videos
    - Environmental Animations/Videos

Funny Quotes
    - Environmental Funny Quotes

BOOKS

Environmental Books
Global Warming Books
Energy Books
Solar Energy Books
Peak Oil Books
Food-Gardening Books
Media Books

 
MUSIC & MOVIES

Environmental Movies
Environmental Songs
Environmental Music Videos

Album Reviews
Fun With Lyrics

ADMIN

Home Page
Search
Site Map
About Us
FAQs
Contact
Free Subscriptions
Unsubscribe
Privacy Policy