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FUNNY TEACHER QUOTES, HUMOROUS QUOTATIONS ABOUT SCHOOL TEACHERS, QUOTE

FUNNY TEACHER QUOTES

 
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Funny Teacher Quotes . . .
GENERAL

"To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler—and less trouble."

Mark Twain

"I never did very well in math—I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally."

Calvin Trillin

"My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers."

Woody Allen

"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils."

Louis-Hector Berlioz

"If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure."

Bill Gates

"Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years."

Gracie Allen

"You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day."

Jay Mohr

"As long as teachers give tests, there will always be prayer in schools."

Unknown


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Funny School Teacher Quotes . . .
FUNNY AND SAD

"We need excellence in public education and if the teachers can't do it, we'll send in a couple of policemen."

Frank Rizzo

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."

Dan Quayle


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Funny Quotes about School Teachers . . .
STRANGELY FUNNY

"The teacher should make a concerted effort never to lose his temper in the presence of the class. If a man, he may take refuge in profane soliloquies. If a woman, she may follow the example of one sweet-faced tranquil girl who went out in the yard and gnawed a post."

William Lyon Phelps

"I had, out of my sixty teachers, a scant half dozen who couldn't have been supplanted by phonographs."

Don Herold

"Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher."

Flannery O'Connor

"If you wind up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest or some guy on TV telling you how to do [things], then YOU DESERVE IT."

Frank Zappa

"One can always tell it's summer when one sees school teachers hanging about the streets idly, looking like cannibals during a shortage of missionaries."

Robertson Davies

 

Funny Quotes about Teachers . . .
SORT OF ABOUT TEACHERS

"A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student."

Henry Youngman

"Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills."

Minna Thomas Antrim

"The 2 rules of Judo training: 1) the teacher is always right and 2) when you think the teacher is wrong, refer to rule one."

Unknown

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If you know of a funny teacher quote that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it; and, if you have it, a reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name (a web page address, Bartlett's, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

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Feed Your Brain!
AUDIO CLIPS
TEACHING TRUTH

CATEGORY:  ENVIRONMENT (CLIMATE) — 10.JUN.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Alternative Visions

Obama's New CO2 Rules—The Bogus Brain Behind the Happy Face — Energy analyst Steve Breyman discusses the new Obama/EPA proposal to reduce CO2 emissions from existing industrial plants in the US by 30% by 2030. Are the proposals too little, too late, and cleverly crafted to defer the pain until after Obama leaves office? Topics include the slippery climate math of fracked natural gas; the XL pipeline loophole; a backdoor approach to cap and trade; increased taxation vs. consumer rebates; the future for coal-fired power plants.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   1:00:27

GP comment:  Though most of the mainstream environmental groups are trying to put a happy face on the new carbon rules, in reality the result will be increased taxation and energy costs to consumers without solving the climate problem. The guest and host make many good points here, but they are surprisingly naive about "Obama the Hopeful" vs. "Obama the Tool of the Elites."

Original Show Pub Date: 07.Jun.2014

CATEGORY:  GMOs, FOOD — 06.JUN.2014

Rating: 5 of 5 - Must-listening! What Women Must Know

The Truth About GMOs and Your Health — Top GMO watchdog Jeffrey Smith offers a flawless review of the politics, science, and dangers of genetically modified organisms in our food supply. Topics include gut disease from GM Bt toxin and from glyphosate, the top GMO pesticide; risks for infants and children; multiple tipping points that suggest consumers are winning the battle against GMOs, despite the political clout and dirty tricks of Monsanto and the rest of the GMO specters.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   56:30

GP comment:  Must-listening for anyone who eats food.

Original Show Pub Date: 29.May.2014

CATEGORY:  EMPIRE — 04.JUN.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Red Ice Radio

Paul Craig Roberts on the Crisis in Ukraine and the Geopolitical Chess Game — Paul Craig Roberts discusses the neo-cons' broad "US hegemony" war agenda—sometimes referred to as the Wolfowitz doctrine—and how the Ukraine fits into the plan. Who has been the driving force behind the illegitimate takeover of Ukraine? What is the grudge between the West’s elite and Russia about? Washington’s willingness to work with anyone, including criminals, in order to achieve their goals is right out of their standard playbook, but it speaks volumes about their determination to remain the sole global superpower. Roberts explains why he thinks the USA is losing more and more influence around the world as other countries tire of its preponderant influence.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   1:10:12

GP comment:  Other than the host's implied assertion that bigotry is no longer a driving force in the world and the fact that neither the host nor guest knows how to pronounce "hegemony," this is pretty good. Roberts, for a former insider, is surprisingly blunt.

Original Show Pub Date: 31.May.2014

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Links for School Teacher
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