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FUNNY VIOLENCE QUOTES

You need have no fear of laughing at this page of funny violence quotes or getting stuffed in your locker over a few funny quotes on school violence. We hope you can unclench your fist long enough to chuckle at these rare humorous quotes about violence and quotes on violence.

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Funny Violence Quotes . . .
GENERAL

"Violence is the way stupid people try to level the playing field."

John Gregory Dunne

"Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around."

Dave Barry

"Ninety-eight percent of American homes have TV sets, which means the people in the other 2% have to generate their own sex and violence."

Franklin P. Jones

"Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committee meetings."

George F. Will

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."

Hunter S. Thompson

"I can't see the point in the theatre. All that sex and violence. I get enough of that at home. Apart from the sex, of course."

Baldrick, from Blackadder


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Quotes On School Violence (Funny) ...
SCHOOL VIOLENCE

"In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window."

Rodney Dangerfield

"I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to be if I grow up."

Lenny Bruce

"My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section."

Norm Crosby

"Show me a man who has enjoyed his school days and I'll show you a bully and a bore."

Robert Morely

"I was the naughty kid that the teachers liked. I bullied a kid in the 1st year when I was in the 2nd, who then hit puberty like a plane crash and grew into a gorilla who bullied me when he was in the 4th year and I was in the 5th. That's Karma."

Simon Pegg

"Remember, I'm the kind of kid who used to get stuffed into a locker by school bullies. I've never felt like I'm a big star at any level of my life."

Winona Ryder


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THE EVER-POPULAR TORTURED SEGUE

 

thumb of ant If you've been spending a lot of time visiting violence upon the armies of little ants invading your house, we have a better way for you to pound them. Forget about those ineffectual cans of whoop-ass you've been opening—check out our natural (and cheap) method for dealing with sugar ants ...

 

Funny Violence Quotes
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FUNNY VIOLENCE QUOTE

If you know of a funny violence quote that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it (and, if you have it, a web reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

 

Feed Your Brain!
AUDIO CLIPS
THE VIOLENCE OF EMPIRE

CATEGORY:  EMPIRE — 09.AUG.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Democracy Now

"President O'Bombing"—US Airstrikes Begin Anew in Iraq — US military aircraft carried out airstrikes in northern Iraq in an attempt to halt sweeping advances by ISIS. Phyllis Bennis, a fellow at the Institute for Policy Studies, discusses the situation.
Watch  |  Download/listen   19:23

GP comment:  Beyond Amy Goodman's priceless "President O'Bombing" slip, this clip is pretty good because the guest puts the latest US insanity in context.

Original Show Pub Date: 08.Aug.2014

CATEGORY:  EMPIRE, MEDIA — 14.JUL.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Democracy Now

The Impact of WikiLeaks' Nearly 8 Million Released Documents — Julian Assange reviews of some of the important shifts that have happed as a result of Wikileaks and similar reporting efforts, including the Collateral Murder video, the US decision to leave Afghanistan, and corrupt influence practices by the US in other countries. He also explains why the new supposedly independent media outlet "The Intercept" may prove to be limited by its elite ownership.
Watch  |  Download/listen   16:51

GP comment:  Assange makes an interesting point that the de facto circumstances of his embassy environs, as limited by the threat of arrest if he leaves the building, do not even meet the international standard for fresh air and light for POWs.

Original Show Pub Date: 09.Jul.2014

CATEGORY:  FINANCIAL — 24.JUL.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good The Keiser Report

Sub-Prime Car Loans and the Next Bubble — Max Keiser and Stacy Herbert discuss the emergence of a building bubble in the car loan market. It's a new subprime loan scam that will end in heartache for unqualified borrowers, bank-bailout taxes for the rest of us when the rescue packages get forced on us, and more bonuses for the clever banksters who keep coming up with these schemes.
Watch  |  Download/listen   12:25

GP comment:  In the collapse of the subprime housing bubble, the media aimed the blame at unqualified borrowers. That was ridiculous—whether unlucky, stupid, or greedy, those borrowers took their lumps by losing their houses. The banks, on the other hand, did not take their lumps—the richie riches got a bailout. Will it be the same when the car loan bubble bursts?

Original Show Pub Date: 22.Jul.2014

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GP CARTOONS RELATED TO
Violence

 
Violent Video Game Joke link; thumb of boy playing video game VIOLENT VIDEO GAMES TRYING TO BE MORE EDUCATIONAL?
Violent Video Game Joke
 
Hollywood Television Violence Joke link; thumb of man watching violence on television CRIME AND VIOLENCE ON TV - INDUSTRY SOLUTION
Hollywood Television Violence Joke
 
School Violence cartoon link; thumb of principal SIGNS YOUR SCHOOL IS CRACKING DOWN ON VIOLENCE
School Violence Cartoon

thumb from Crime of the Century album cover

SUPERTRAMP —
“SCHOOL” ... AND THE CRIME OF THE CENTURY

After school is over,
You're playing in the park ...
"Don't be out too late,
Don't let it get too dark!"
They tell you not to hang around
And learn what life's about;
And grow up just like them,
Won't let you work it out,
And you're full of doubt ...

"School" is one of Supertramp's best songs, from one of their best albums. Other top songs include the title track, "Dreamer", "Hide In Your Shell", and "Bloody Well Right". See full GP review of Crime of the Century.

Amazon options:
-- SONG: "School"  ( MP3 )
-- ALBUM: Crime of the Century
    ( CD  |  MP3 Album )

       
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