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FUNNY VIOLENCE QUOTES

You need have no fear of laughing at this page of funny violence quotes or getting stuffed in your locker over a few funny quotes on school violence. We hope you can unclench your fist long enough to chuckle at these rare humorous quotes about violence and quotes on violence.

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Funny Violence Quotes . . .
GENERAL

"Violence is the way stupid people try to level the playing field."

John Gregory Dunne

"Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around."

Dave Barry

"Ninety-eight percent of American homes have TV sets, which means the people in the other 2% have to generate their own sex and violence."

Franklin P. Jones

"Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committee meetings."

George F. Will

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."

Hunter S. Thompson

"I can't see the point in the theatre. All that sex and violence. I get enough of that at home. Apart from the sex, of course."

Baldrick, from Blackadder


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Quotes On School Violence (Funny) ...
SCHOOL VIOLENCE

"In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window."

Rodney Dangerfield

"I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to be if I grow up."

Lenny Bruce

"My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section."

Norm Crosby

"Show me a man who has enjoyed his school days and I'll show you a bully and a bore."

Robert Morely

"I was the naughty kid that the teachers liked. I bullied a kid in the 1st year when I was in the 2nd, who then hit puberty like a plane crash and grew into a gorilla who bullied me when he was in the 4th year and I was in the 5th. That's Karma."

Simon Pegg

"Remember, I'm the kind of kid who used to get stuffed into a locker by school bullies. I've never felt like I'm a big star at any level of my life."

Winona Ryder


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Funny Violence Quotes . . .
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If you know of a funny violence quote that we missed, we'd love for you to email it to us. Give us the text of the quote and who said it (and, if you have it, a web reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name, etc.). So... email us a quote. Thanks!

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School Violence cartoon link; thumb of principal SIGNS YOUR SCHOOL IS CRACKING DOWN ON VIOLENCE
School Violence Cartoon

thumb from Crime of the Century album cover

SUPERTRAMP —
“SCHOOL” ... AND THE CRIME OF THE CENTURY

After school is over,
You're playing in the park ...
"Don't be out too late,
Don't let it get too dark!"
They tell you not to hang around
And learn what life's about;
And grow up just like them,
Won't let you work it out,
And you're full of doubt ...

"School" is one of Supertramp's best songs, from one of their best albums. Other top songs include the title track, "Dreamer", "Hide In Your Shell", and "Bloody Well Right". See full GP review of Crime of the Century.

Amazon options:
-- SONG: "School"  ( MP3 )
-- ALBUM: Crime of the Century
    ( CD  |  MP3 Album )

       
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