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FUNNY VIOLENCE QUOTES

You need have no fear of laughing at this page of funny violence quotes or getting stuffed in your locker over a few funny quotes on school violence. We hope you can unclench your fist long enough to chuckle at these rare humorous quotes about violence and quotes on violence.

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Funny Violence Quotes . . .
GENERAL

"Violence is the way stupid people try to level the playing field."

John Gregory Dunne

"Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around."

Dave Barry

"Ninety-eight percent of American homes have TV sets, which means the people in the other 2% have to generate their own sex and violence."

Franklin P. Jones

"Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committee meetings."

George F. Will

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."

Hunter S. Thompson

"I can't see the point in the theatre. All that sex and violence. I get enough of that at home. Apart from the sex, of course."

Baldrick, from Blackadder


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Quotes On School Violence (Funny) ...
SCHOOL VIOLENCE

"In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window."

Rodney Dangerfield

"I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to be if I grow up."

Lenny Bruce

"My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section."

Norm Crosby

"Show me a man who has enjoyed his school days and I'll show you a bully and a bore."

Robert Morely

"I was the naughty kid that the teachers liked. I bullied a kid in the 1st year when I was in the 2nd, who then hit puberty like a plane crash and grew into a gorilla who bullied me when he was in the 4th year and I was in the 5th. That's Karma."

Simon Pegg

"Remember, I'm the kind of kid who used to get stuffed into a locker by school bullies. I've never felt like I'm a big star at any level of my life."

Winona Ryder


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If you know of a funny violence quote that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it (and, if you have it, a web reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

 

Feed Your Brain!
AUDIO CLIPS
THE VIOLENCE OF EMPIRE

CATEGORY:  HISTORY, FINANCIAL — 14.FEB.2015

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Peak Prosperity

Either We Break the Bankster Alliances or They Will Break Us — Nomi Prins reviews the historical circumstances that led to the formation of the big-bank-controlled Federal Reserve; that is, how the financial foxes were put in charge of the public's hen house. She then explains how many rich US elites in the late 1800s/early 1900s thought that keeping money flowing and not being too draconian helped the masses, which in turn helped the elites maintain the system that provided the wealth. But some bankers were not of a mind to play the game this way, and Louis Brandeis warned: "We must break the Money Trust or the Money Trust will break us." Nomi Prins says we are headed into a new era of high banker mischief, vast income gaps, and reckless behavior among leaders and elites. She says we must take heed of Brandeis' warning and take down the banker-corporate-politician-industrial complex.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   52:45

GP comment:  I have passed on a couple of Prins interviews earlier this year, but here she is starting to step outside the envelope and address the bankster power structure as the criminal enterprise that it truly is.

Original Show Pub Date: 31.Jan.2015

CATEGORY:  MEDIA, EMPIRE — 13.FEB.2015

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Democracy Now

Endless War, Endless War Spin — As Obama talks about a new major cycle of the war on terror—this time against the Islamic State—Norman Solomon of the Institute for Public Accuracy says Obama talks about not being interested in "endless war" but is doing more than any previous president to engage the US in exactly that. Solomon also says Brain Williams' worst lies about war were not his exaggerations of his personal experiences reporting from danger zones but rather his parroting the war propaganda of both the Bush and Obama administrations and his failure to challenge any aspect of the corrupt endless-war agenda. Of course, all the big names in media did the same. Finally, Solomon talks about the case of CIA whistleblower Jeffrey Sterling, who has been persecuted for exposing a dodgy CIA operation to the Senate Intelligence Committee.
Watch A  |  Watch B  |  Watch C
Download/listen   17:18

GP comment:  Solomon is very good here. The title of his book gives some indication of his tone: War Made Easy: How Presidents and Pundits Keep Spinning Us to Death.

Original Show Pub Date: 12.Feb.2015 ~~ Original story titles ... Endless War? Obama Sends Congress Expansive Anti-ISIS Measure 6 Months After Bombing Began ~~ Brian Williams Suspended for False Iraq Tale, But Media's Real Scandal is the War Lies Spun Daily ~~ Was Jeffrey Sterling Trial a Gov't Effort to Divide Investigative Journalists & Whistleblowers?

CATEGORY:  EMPIRE — 11.FEB.2015

Rating: 5 of 5 - Must-listening! Uprising

Understanding the Roots of Terrorism—Theirs and Ours — Much of President Obama's record-breaking defense budget proposal will fund proxy wars around the globe. The US is training and arming Sunni tribal groups in Iraq to fight ISIS, and it may soon begin supplying weapons to the Ukrainian military against Russia. Drone strikes continue to take their toll in Yemen and elsewhere. Meanwhile, a jingoistic film called ĎAmerican Sniperí glorifies killing and demonizes Muslims with virtually no historical context. Chris Hedges says most Americans accept the myth of American rightness and do-goodism while ignoring the obvious parallels in the terrorism practiced by the US and the terrorism practiced by ISIS and their ilk. He says the empire is not only busy abroad but is also quietly pre-positioning suppressive-force capabilities on the home front, in preparation for the inevitable pushback from the masses as their impoverishment worsens.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   27:32

GP comment:  Many excellent points in this one.

Original Show Pub Date: 09.Feb.2015

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GP CARTOONS RELATED TO
Violence

 
Violent Video Game Joke link; thumb of boy playing video game VIOLENT VIDEO GAMES TRYING TO BE MORE EDUCATIONAL?
Violent Video Game Joke
 
Hollywood Television Violence Joke link; thumb of man watching violence on television CRIME AND VIOLENCE ON TV - INDUSTRY SOLUTION
Hollywood Television Violence Joke
 
School Violence cartoon link; thumb of principal SIGNS YOUR SCHOOL IS CRACKING DOWN ON VIOLENCE
School Violence Cartoon

thumb from Crime of the Century album cover

SUPERTRAMP —
“SCHOOL” ... AND THE CRIME OF THE CENTURY

After school is over,
You're playing in the park ...
"Don't be out too late,
Don't let it get too dark!"
They tell you not to hang around
And learn what life's about;
And grow up just like them,
Won't let you work it out,
And you're full of doubt ...

"School" is one of Supertramp's best songs, from one of their best albums. Other top songs include the title track, "Dreamer", "Hide In Your Shell", and "Bloody Well Right". See full GP review of Crime of the Century.

Amazon options:
-- SONG: "School"  ( MP3 )
-- ALBUM: Crime of the Century
    ( CD  |  MP3 Album )

       
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