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FUNNY VIOLENCE QUOTES

You need have no fear of laughing at this page of funny violence quotes or getting stuffed in your locker over a few funny quotes on school violence. We hope you can unclench your fist long enough to chuckle at these rare humorous quotes about violence and quotes on violence.

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Funny Violence Quotes . . .
GENERAL

"Violence is the way stupid people try to level the playing field."

John Gregory Dunne

"Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around."

Dave Barry

"Ninety-eight percent of American homes have TV sets, which means the people in the other 2% have to generate their own sex and violence."

Franklin P. Jones

"Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committee meetings."

George F. Will

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."

Hunter S. Thompson

"I can't see the point in the theatre. All that sex and violence. I get enough of that at home. Apart from the sex, of course."

Baldrick, from Blackadder


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Quotes On School Violence (Funny) ...
SCHOOL VIOLENCE

"In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window."

Rodney Dangerfield

"I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to be if I grow up."

Lenny Bruce

"My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section."

Norm Crosby

"Show me a man who has enjoyed his school days and I'll show you a bully and a bore."

Robert Morely

"I was the naughty kid that the teachers liked. I bullied a kid in the 1st year when I was in the 2nd, who then hit puberty like a plane crash and grew into a gorilla who bullied me when he was in the 4th year and I was in the 5th. That's Karma."

Simon Pegg

"Remember, I'm the kind of kid who used to get stuffed into a locker by school bullies. I've never felt like I'm a big star at any level of my life."

Winona Ryder


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thumb of ant If you've been spending a lot of time visiting violence upon the armies of little ants invading your house, we have a better way for you to pound them. Forget about those ineffectual cans of whoop-ass you've been opening—check out our natural (and cheap) method for dealing with sugar ants ...

 

Funny Violence Quotes
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FUNNY VIOLENCE QUOTE

If you know of a funny violence quote that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it (and, if you have it, a web reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

 

Feed Your Brain!
AUDIO CLIPS
THE VIOLENCE OF EMPIRE

CATEGORY:  EMPIRE — 01.SEP.2014

Rating: 5 of 5 - Must-listening! Washington Journal

Richard Gage of Architects and Engineers for 9/11 Truth on C-SPAN — Richard Gage, founder of the group Architects and Engineers for 9/11 Truth discusses their evidence that Building 7 was destroyed by controlled demolition on September 11th. The group is calling for an open investigation into the science and facts of 9/11. Topics include: why modern skyscrapers with high-stgrength steel supports cannot collapse in free fall without controlled demolition; refutation of various claims by NIST in their analysis (cover-up); and evidence for use of the high-tech demolition explosive thermite.
Watch  |  Download/listen A   39:41

GP comment:  Excellent that this got on C-SPAN. The 9/11 crime is similar to the JFK murder—if left unsolved, it will be another huge helping of impugnity for the corrupt cabal that runs things, which will ultimately lead to true totalitarianism.

Original Show Pub Date: 01.Aug.2014

CATEGORY:  FINANCIAL — 11.AUG.2014

Rating: 5 of 5 - Must-listening! Corbett Report

Century of Enslavement—The History of The Federal Reserve — War. Poverty. Revolution. They all hinge on economics. And economics rests on one key concept: money. But what is money? How is it created? Who controls it? It is remarkable that, given its central importance in our lives, not one person in a hundred can answer such basic questions about money. James Corbett's new documentary, Century of Enslavement—The History of The Federal Reserve, endeavors to enlighten the public on the machinations of the banksters over the last few centuries, culminating in 1913 in the creation of their main tool, the Federal Reserve.
Watch  |  Download/listen   1:29:57

GP comment:  Corbett is clear, cogent, and well researched on the topic. His film is not quite as engaging as The Money Masters, though it is more up-to-date.

Original Show Pub Date: 06.Jul.2014

CATEGORY:  EMPIRE — 22.AUG.2014

Rating: 3 of 5 - Good, worth a listen C-Realm Podcast

Futures Near and Far — KMO speaks with "military science fiction" novelist Linda Nagata. The themes include eroding civil liberties; cybernetics and nanotechnology; the growing power of defense contractors; and the coercions of empire. As an example of the interstection of fiction and reality, the soldiers in Nagata's novel The Bohr Maker wear powered exoskeletons, which are more advanced versions of systems actually in development by Lockheed Martin.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   59:55

GP comment:  Insect-bots and super-soldiers and Big Brother cops, oh my! Unfortunately, we are already part-way there.

Original Show Pub Date: 20.Aug.2014

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GP CARTOONS RELATED TO
Violence

 
Violent Video Game Joke link; thumb of boy playing video game VIOLENT VIDEO GAMES TRYING TO BE MORE EDUCATIONAL?
Violent Video Game Joke
 
Hollywood Television Violence Joke link; thumb of man watching violence on television CRIME AND VIOLENCE ON TV - INDUSTRY SOLUTION
Hollywood Television Violence Joke
 
School Violence cartoon link; thumb of principal SIGNS YOUR SCHOOL IS CRACKING DOWN ON VIOLENCE
School Violence Cartoon

thumb from Crime of the Century album cover

SUPERTRAMP —
“SCHOOL” ... AND THE CRIME OF THE CENTURY

After school is over,
You're playing in the park ...
"Don't be out too late,
Don't let it get too dark!"
They tell you not to hang around
And learn what life's about;
And grow up just like them,
Won't let you work it out,
And you're full of doubt ...

"School" is one of Supertramp's best songs, from one of their best albums. Other top songs include the title track, "Dreamer", "Hide In Your Shell", and "Bloody Well Right". See full GP review of Crime of the Century.

Amazon options:
-- SONG: "School"  ( MP3 )
-- ALBUM: Crime of the Century
    ( CD  |  MP3 Album )

       
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