FUNNY SUMMER QUOTES

"A lot of parents pack up their troubles and send them off to summer camp."

— Raymond Duncan

"Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you."

— Erma Bombeck

"Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability."

— Sam Keen

"A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken."

— James Dent

"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco."

— attributed to Mark Twain

"Summer is a promissory note signed in June, its long days spent and gone before you know it, and due to be repaid next January."

— Hal Borland

"It's a sure sign of summer if the chair gets up when you do."

— Walter Winchell

"Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it."

— Russell Baker

"It ain't the heat, it's the humility."

— Yogi Berra

"'Heat, ma'am!' I said; 'it was so dreadful here, that I found there was nothing left for it but to take off my flesh and sit in my bones.'"

— Sydney Smith, Lady Holland's Memoir

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From The Simpsons

Store Manager: "Okay, people, we need to cook up a new holiday for the summer. Something with gifts, cards, assorted gougeables."

From 30 Rock

Jack Donaghy: "I've had the most productive summer of my life.... All of my summer replacement shows were big hits. America's Next Top Pirate... Are You Stronger Than a Dog... MILF Island...."

From Seinfeld

George Costanza: "But I really want to leave my mark this time. Like remember that summer at Dairy Queen when I cooled my feet in the soft serve?"

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"If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?"

— Steven Wright

"This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich said that for the entire month of June, he will stop blowing hot air."

— Bill Maher

"In winter I get up at night
And dress by yellow candle-light.
In summer quite the other way
I have to go to bed by day."

— Robert Louis Stevenson

"It's a cruel season that makes you get ready for bed while it's light out."

— Calvin (Bill Watterson)