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FUNNY SPRING QUOTES

Even the birds are taking time to laugh at these funny quotes about springtime.

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Funny Spring Quotes ...
GENERAL

"Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!'"

Robin Williams

"Winter lingered so long in the lap of Spring that it occasioned a great deal of talk."

Bill Nye

"Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush."

Doug Larson

"Spring is the time of the year, when it is summer in the sun and winter in the shade."

Charles Dickens

"In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours."

Mark Twain

"Spring being a tough act to follow, God created June."

Al Bernstein

"In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt."

Margaret Atwood

A little Madness in the Spring
Is wholesome even for the King.

Emily Dickinson

Indoors or out, no one relaxes
In March, that month of wind and taxes.
The wind will presently disappear;
The taxes last us all the year.

Ogden Nash


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Funny Spring Quotes ...
FROM MOVIES AND TV

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Mimi Bobeck From The Drew Carey Show

Mimi Bobeck: "Ah, spring. When a young man's fancy turns my stomach. "

From The Red Green Show

Red Green: "It is spring. Tadpoles swim in a stagnant pond, surrounded by floating lilies and water snakes. You're tempted to destroy their world with men and equipment, to dry up the swamp and kill the animals. But what the heck? You don't go down in the basement that often anyway."

From Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Narrator: "A year passed: winter changed into spring, spring changed into summer, summer changed back into winter, and winter gave spring and summer a miss and went straight on into autumn... until one day..."

Buffy the Vampire Slayer with stake From Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Buffy [to two vampires, as she's slaying them]:
"A spring breeze tosses the leaves aside, and again, you're registering as Mr. and Mrs. Big Pile of Dust."

From Frasier

Daphne: "I suppose all brothers are like that. Mine certainly were. Everything was a contest! Who could the run the fastest, jump the highest. They even had this strange one where they'd take little brother Michael, put him in a potato sack and see who could roll him the farthest over the frozen lake out back. They loved that game! Until that year the spring thaw set in early and poor Michael went right through the ice. Ooh, they caught hell for that one, they did. Caught it worse a week later when Michael's toe finally fell off. Michael cried and cried until they told him to put it under his pillow for the toe fairy! And then when he got five quid for it, why it was all they could do to stop him from sawing off the rest of them!"

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Spring Quotes - Funny ...
FROM YONDER LEFT FIELD

"I played a heap of snow in a school play. I was under a sheet, and crawled out when spring came. I often say I'll never reach the same artistic level again."

Stellan Skarsgard

"Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed."

David Letterman

"Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond."

Ambrose Bierce

"The only thing that could spoil a day was people. People were always the limiters of happiness except for the very few that were as good as spring itself."

Ernest Hemingway

"Chicago is an October sort of city, even in spring."

Nelson Algren

"The first day of spring was once the time for taking the young virgins into the fields, there in dalliance to set an example in fertility for nature to follow. Now we just set the clocks an hour ahead and change the oil in the crankcase."

E.B. White

"People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring."

Rogers Hornsby



 

THE EVER-POPULAR TORTURED SEGUE

 

thumb of composting book cover GOOD SOIL IS NATURE’S DIRTY LITTLE SECRET
Whether it's a spring garden or a fall garden you're thinking about planting, the first order of business is soil quality. Find books on that subject and much more on Grinning Planet's excellent list of food gardening books.





Funny Spring Quotes . . .
COMM. CENTER & RELATED STUFF

SIMILAR CATEGORIES

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Jokes/Cartoons (General)

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If you know of a funny spring quote that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it (and, if you have it, a web reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

 

Funny Spring Quotes . . .
AUDIO CLIPS
FOR A GREENING PLANET

CATEGORY:  HEALTH, ENVIRONMENT — 10.JAN.2015

Rating: 3 of 5 - Good, worth a listen Uprising

Cancer—Environmental Factors and Genetics vs. Plain Ol' Bad Luck — A new study has found that 22 types of cancer are the result of sheer bad luck, blaming the cancers largely on random mistakes in tissue-specific stem cells and stating that the cancers arise in a manner unrelated to genetic or environmental factors. Julia Brody of the Silent Spring Institute offers a countering opinion, noting that a different team looked at exactly the same data and concluded that only 10% of cancers were attributable to random bad luck.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   12:28

GP comment:  This is a pretty tepid report, but the takeaway should be that the defenders of corporations' toxic products and processes now have a study to point to and say, "see, no problem" ... which no doubt was the intention of whoever funded that particular data analysis. As Mark Twain cautioned, there are lies, damn lies, and statistics.

Original Show Pub Date: 07.Jan.2015 ~~ Original story title: The Science of Health: Silent Spring Inst. Cautions Against New Cancer Study

CATEGORY:  ENVIRONMENT — 16.DEC.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Radio EcoShock

Catastrophic Failure of the Planet—Satire or SITREP? — Joseph D'Lacey writes eco-apocalyptic/horror fiction as a way of exploring the way in which the human condition is broken. Here he discusses his fictional post-apocalypse books, which include the Black Dawn series, which extrapolates from our real-life era when corporations are literally sucking the earth dry of its high quality resources; and Meat, where a combination of powerful corporations and organized religion completely control the food supply, with living standards for animal welfare and human rights falling by the wayside. ~~ Then Stanford's Mary Kang explains the data on leaking methane from abandoned gas wells. ~~ A clip from the fictional show "The Newsroom" has an EPA scientist going non-linear, predicting absolute climate doom, with no possibility of escape. Real-life climate scientist Michael Mann gives his take on our climate prospects.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   1:00:00

GP comment:  Given humans' demonstrated inability to elevate their actions above their parochial interests, I think the "we're screwed" conclusion of the fictional EPA official will prove more likely than the hopium-based "we can still take meaningful action" assertion expressed by Michael Mann. That said, Alex Smith does a nice job at the end mediating the two extremes and adding more scientific—and psychological—context.

Original Show Pub Date: 10.Dec.2014 ~~ Original story title: Eco Horror ... Is "The Newsroom" Climate Doom for Real?

CATEGORY:  ENVIRONMENT, SPECIES — 23.OCT.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Resistance Radio

Has Capitalism Captured the Environmental Movement? — Tom Butler of the Northeast Wilderness Trust talks with Derrick Jensen about the problematic trend among mainstream environmental groups trying to steer capitalism in a better direction. The problem with that approach is that capitalists, when push comes to shove, will always prioritize corporate profits over natural preservation. Even more troubling is the shift in the framing of environmental issues, where the comfort, convenience, and continuation of modern life is a given, and any sacrifice along those lines to preserve species or protect the biosphere is not even up for discussion.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   50:59

GP comment:  This is a good talk, though the general tack is that this problem is mostly one of evil corporatists, venal politicians, and a lackey media. There are those aspects, for sure, but the general populace has fully embraced the benefits of modern industrial society, regardless of the environmental costs, and the gains in comfort and convenience will not be given up willingly, no matter how right the goals.

Original Show Pub Date: 19.Oct.2014

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VIDEO RELATED TO
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reasons to garden video link; thumb of Roger Doiron on stage; Dr. Evil on screen in background

A SUBVERSIVE PLOT

This short presentation explains the great reasons to grow more of your own food—from peak oil to avoiding GMOs to redistributing power back to the people, away from the corp-gov axis of weasels.  Watch reasons to garden video.

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