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FUNNY WHITE HOUSE QUOTES
You've arrived in GP's West Wing—The Humorous White House Quotations Mini-Library—so relax your presidential brain for a few minutes with these funny White House quotes.
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"The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves."
— David Letterman
"Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.' "
— Craig Kilborn
"The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, 'You know what? Let's just grab lunch.' "
— Bill Maher
"We suffer most when the White House busts with ideas."
— H.L. Mencken
"I don't know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House."
— Bob Hope
"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron."
— H. L. Mencken
QUORUM, n. A sufficient number of members of a deliberative body to have their own way and their own way of having it. In the United States Senate a quorum consists of the chairman of the Committee on Finance and a messenger from the White House; in the House of Representatives, of the Speaker and the devil.
— Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
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"The White House is the finest prison in the world."
— Harry S. Truman
"Since I came to the White House, I got two hearing aids, a colon operation, skin cancer, a prostate operation, and I was shot. The damn thing is, I've never felt better in my life."
— Ronald Reagan
"I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered at the White House—with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone."
— John F. Kennedy
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"I have no idea what White House statement was issued, but I stand by it 100 percent."
— Richard Darman, Former Reagan budget director
"When your mission is to restore honor and integrity to the White House, you've got to be willing to use any means necessary."
— Paul Begala, former advisor to Bill Clinton
"You couldn't even prove the White House staff sane beyond a reasonable doubt."
— Ed Meese, former U.S. Attorney General under Reagan, on the Hinckley verdict
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Whether you're talking about the White House, congress, or state offices, don't make a green gaff in the voting booth. Check out who's with us and against us in our
environmental voters' guide. Or, if you need some convincing, see why we think everyone should
vote green, unless you're worried about wasting your vote.
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Oregon is sooooo lucky to have a congressman who can understand the power of the Star Trek metaphor! Hear his floor speech, and watch Jon Stewart get analysis from Vulcan #1 — Mr. Spock!
From The Daily Show.
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