FUNNY CAMPAIGN QUOTES

"Anyone that wants the presidency so much that he'll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office."

— David Broder

"When it comes to facing up to serious problems, each candidate will pledge to appoint a committee. And what is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary. But it all sounds great in a campaign speech."

— Richard Long Harkness

"People used to complain that selling a president was like selling a bar of soap. But when you buy soap, at least you get the soap. In this campaign, you just get two guys telling you they really value cleanliness."

— David Brooks

"Sometimes, political campaigns make decent people act and talk like perfect buffoons."

— Tony Snow

"The problem with smear campaigns is that too often they work."

— Mark Shields

"When the president during the campaign said he was against nation building, I didn't realize he meant our nation."

— Al Franken

"I'm not an old, experienced hand at politics. But I am now seasoned enough to have learned that the hardest thing about any political campaign is how to win without proving that you are unworthy of winning."

— Adlai Stevenson

"Do not run a campaign that would embarrass your mother."

— Robert C. Byrd

"The long, dull, monotonous years of middle-aged prosperity or middle-aged adversity are excellent campaigning weather for the devil."

— C.S. Lewis

"A great ad campaign will make a bad product fail faster. It will get more people to know it's bad."

— William Bernbach

"You look at that Democratic debate, I had to laugh at what I saw Barack Obama do. I mean in one week he went from saying he's going to sit down, you know, for tea, with our enemies, but then he's going to bomb our allies. I mean he's gone from Jane Fonda to Dr. Strangelove in one week."

— Mitt Romney, presidential candidate

"I'm from Hope, Arkansas, you may have heard of it. All I'm asking is, give us one more chance."

— Mike Huckabee, presidential candidate

"There's only three things [presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani] mentions in a sentence—a noun and a verb and '9/11'...."

— Joe Biden (also running for president at the time)

"To those critics who are so pessimistic about our economy, I say: Don't be economic girlie men!"

— Arnold Schwarzenegger, California Gubernator

"People tell me that Senator Edwards got picked for his good looks, his sex appeal, and his great hair. I say to them: How do you think I got the job?"

— Dick Cheney

"I spent several years in a North Vietnamese prison camp, in the dark, fed with scraps. Do you think I want to do that all over again as vice president of the United States?"

— Sen. John McCain, addressing the rumor that he might agree to be John Kerry's running mate

"They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program."

— George W. Bush

"Republicans are calling the Bush-Cheney ticket the 'Wizard of Oz' ticket. One needs a heart and the other needs a brain."

— Jay Leno

"My plan to put Social Security in an ironclad lockbox has gotten a lot of attention recently, and I'm glad about that. But I'm afraid that it's overshadowing some vitally important proposals. For instance, I'll put Medicaid in a walk-in closet. I'll put the Community Reinvestment Act in a secured gym locker. I'll put NASA funding in a hermetically sealed Ziploc bag."

— Al Gore

"Bush and Gore make me wanna RALPH."

— Nader campaign T-shirt

"They misunderestimated me."

— George W. Bush