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FUNNY QUOTES ON PUBLIC SPEAKING

We have humorous quotes on public speaking! Quotes that give laughs to private readers and public speakers alike, with funny quotes about public speaking that include a couple of funny quote about graduation speakers.

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Funny Public Speaking Quotes . . .
GENERAL

"The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

George Jessel

"Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary."

Evan Esar

"It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech."

Mark Twain

"Today's public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can't read them either."

Gore Vidal

"What this country needs is more free speech worth listening to."

Hansell B. Duckett

"There are two things that are more difficult than making an after-dinner speech: climbing a wall which is leaning toward you and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you."

Winston Churchill

"The duty of a toastmaster is to be so dull that the succeeding speakers will appear brilliant by contrast."

Clarence B. Kelland

"Make sure you have finished speaking before your audience has finished listening."

Dorothy Sarnoff

"Speak when you are angry—and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret."

Laurence J. Peter

Every speaker has a mouth;
An arrangement rather neat.
Sometimes it's filled with wisdom.
Sometimes it's filled with feet.

Robert Orben


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Funny Public Speaking Quotes ...
FUNNY GRADUATION/COMMENCEMENT SPEAKERS QUOTES

"Nothing is as easy to make as a promise this winter to do something next summer; this is how commencement speakers are caught."

Sydney J. Harris

"A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success."

Robert Orben


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free audio news clips link; image of zombie kid - DON'T BE A MAINSTREAM MEDIA DRONE! - Free MP3 news download at Grinning Planet
 

Funny Public Speaking Quotes . . .
FUNNY, SPEAKING OF WEIRD

"HARANGUE, n. A speech by an opponent, who is known as an harrangue-outang."

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

"I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of people who go to lectures and don't want to meet them."

H. L. Mencken



 

THE EVER-POPULAR TORTURED SEGUE

 

picture of lying pol Whether you think a speaker is brilliant or is instead deserving of awards like "Most Uhms in A Speech" or "Grandest Gaffe," make sure you don't fall for any pandering, oversimplifications, and double-talk on environment and energy issues. To arm yourself against such spurious speechifying, check out our updated piece on environmental doublespeak ....




Funny Public Speaking
COMM. CENTER & RELATED STUFF

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Funny Campaign Quotes

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Funny Quote subject list

Jokes/Cartoons (General)

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FUNNY PUBLIC SPEAKING QUOTE

If you know any humorous quotes on public speaking that we missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it (and, if you have it, a web reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

 

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AUDIO CLIPS
MEDIA & COMMUNICATIONS

CATEGORY:  PRIVACY — 24.MAR.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good On The Media

Not-So-Private Metadata — The NSA has defended its controversial surveillance program by arguing that it just collects "metadata," and therefore doesn't get enough specifics to violate the privacy of individual Americans. But computer scientists at Stanford Security Lab conducted their own simulation of the NSA program and found the metadata to be inherently revealing. Jonathan Mayer, one of the researchers on the project, gives examples of what can be learned from supposedly benign metadata.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   5:48

GP comment:  Even the NSA's lies about what they do can be proved to be more than Americans are comfortable with. That is, "we only collect metadata" is the cover story, but even that is now shown to yield more than they are entitled to on a security basis.

Original Show Pub Date: 21.Mar.2014

CATEGORY:  MEDIA — 25.MAR.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good On The Media

Holding Journalistic Algorithms Accountable — When an earthquake sent tremors through Los Angeles this week, an algorithm called Quakebot allowed the LA Times to release the news faster than any other media outlet. But how good was the story? Nick Diakopoulos of the Columbia Journalism School talks about what reporters—and readers—should keep in mind as algorithms increasingly play a role in newsrooms.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   7:31

GP comment:  The host's framing is perfect: "garbage in, garbage out ... garbage algorithm, garbage story."

Original Show Pub Date: 21.Mar.2014

CATEGORY:  MEDIA — 21.MAR.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Uprising

Killing the Messenger—The Deadly Cost of News — Fifty-two-year-old Swedish journalist Nils Horner has become the latest casualty in the on-going undeclared global war on journalists. Today, the leading cause of workplace-related deaths for journalists is murder in the line of work. While the murders of foreign war correspondents like Nils Horner and Daniel Pearl make international headlines, it is often local journalists who are in even more danger while doing their work. A new documentary, Killing the Messenger: The Deadly Cost of News, explores the dangers facing journalists in war zones from Iraq and Afghanistan to Mexico, relating harrowing tales of bombs, sniper fire, days in captivity, and fallen fellow journalists.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   23:06

GP comment:  To add to the tragedy, the ones that get killed are the ones most likely to tell us the truth about what's going on.

Original Show Pub Date: 14.Mar.2014

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GP CARTOONS RELATED TO
Public Speaking

 
Political Language Joke/Cartoon link; thumb of politician's head LITTLE-KNOWN POLITICAL ABBREVIATIONS
Political Language Joke/Cartoon
 
Public Speaking Jokes/Cartoon link; thumb of public speaker with raised hand PUBLIC SPEAKING AWARDS PEOPLE SHOULD TRY TO AVOID GETTING
Public Speaking Jokes/Cartoon
 
Funny Comic Cartoon link; thumb of hobbes the tiger COMIC STRIP CHARACTERS SPEAK OUT ON MODERN LAW ENFORCEMENT ISSUES
Funny Comic Cartoon

ANIMATIONS RELATED TO
Funny Quotes on Public Speaking

Bush at lectern; click to go to video page at external site; opens in new window

BUSHISMS VIDEO REVIEW

Well, love him or hate him, he'll be gone soon—barring a total usurpation of constitutional authority—and we will all be deprived of the grand gaffes and gargantuan goofs that gush from his grinning gob. The next president is almost certain to bring a decline in entertainment (and embarrassment) value, so enjoy him while you can ... with this 1-minute review of some of Bush Jr.'s worst public speaking flubs. At Google Video. No longer available

Or see more ...
Funny Animations/Videos

       
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