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FUNNY QUOTES ON PUBLIC SPEAKING

We have humorous quotes on public speaking! Quotes that give laughs to private readers and public speakers alike, with funny quotes about public speaking that include a couple of funny quote about graduation speakers.

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Funny Public Speaking Quotes . . .
GENERAL

"The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

George Jessel

"Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary."

Evan Esar

"It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech."

Mark Twain

"Today's public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can't read them either."

Gore Vidal

"What this country needs is more free speech worth listening to."

Hansell B. Duckett

"There are two things that are more difficult than making an after-dinner speech: climbing a wall which is leaning toward you and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you."

Winston Churchill

"The duty of a toastmaster is to be so dull that the succeeding speakers will appear brilliant by contrast."

Clarence B. Kelland

"Make sure you have finished speaking before your audience has finished listening."

Dorothy Sarnoff

"Speak when you are angry—and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret."

Laurence J. Peter

Every speaker has a mouth;
An arrangement rather neat.
Sometimes it's filled with wisdom.
Sometimes it's filled with feet.

Robert Orben


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Funny Public Speaking Quotes ...
FUNNY GRADUATION/COMMENCEMENT SPEAKERS QUOTES

"Nothing is as easy to make as a promise this winter to do something next summer; this is how commencement speakers are caught."

Sydney J. Harris

"A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success."

Robert Orben


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free audio news clips link; image of zombie kid - DON'T BE A MAINSTREAM MEDIA DRONE! - Free MP3 news download at Grinning Planet
 

Funny Public Speaking Quotes . . .
FUNNY, SPEAKING OF WEIRD

"HARANGUE, n. A speech by an opponent, who is known as an harrangue-outang."

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

"I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of people who go to lectures and don't want to meet them."

H. L. Mencken



 

THE EVER-POPULAR TORTURED SEGUE

 

picture of lying pol Whether you think a speaker is brilliant or is instead deserving of awards like "Most Uhms in A Speech" or "Grandest Gaffe," make sure you don't fall for any pandering, oversimplifications, and double-talk on environment and energy issues. To arm yourself against such spurious speechifying, check out our updated piece on environmental doublespeak ....




Funny Public Speaking
COMM. CENTER & RELATED STUFF

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Funny Campaign Quotes

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Funny Quote subject list

Jokes/Cartoons (General)

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FUNNY PUBLIC SPEAKING QUOTE

If you know any humorous quotes on public speaking that we missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it (and, if you have it, a web reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

 

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AUDIO CLIPS
MEDIA & COMMUNICATIONS

CATEGORY:  PRIVACY — 30.JUL.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Democracy Now

Global Stop-and-Frisk Program + Mass US Surveillance Targeting Journalists and Lawyers — (A) The Obama administration has expanded the national terrorist watchlist system by approving broad guidelines on who can be targeted. A leaked copy reveals that to be deemed a "terrorist" target, "irrefutable evidence or concrete facts are not necessary." ~~ (B) In a new report, Human Rights Watch and the ACLU warn that government surveillance is crippling US-based journalists and lawyers in their work. Sources are afraid of talking to reporters, as aggressive prosecutions scare government officials into staying silent, even about unclassified issues. Government surveillance is also forcing lawyers to take extraordinary measures to try to protect their clients' right to privacy.
Watch A  |  Download/listen A/B   26:57
Watch B

GP comment:  Curtain descending, people.

Original Show Pub Date: 29.Jul.2014

CATEGORY:  EMPIRE, MEDIA — 30.JUL.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good The Lifeboat Hour

Abby Martin on Western Media Self-Censorship — Carolyn Baker interviews the savvy RT anchor Abby Martin. Topics include Ukraine and Martin's outspoken stance on the forces of empire; the mainstream news bias on the Israeli bombing of Gaza; and broader media issues. She points out that Western mainstream outlets do not need to be censored by the corp-gov state—they censor themselves.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   58:30

GP comment:  Martin speaks intelligently on these topics.

Original Show Pub Date: 27.Jul.2014

CATEGORY:  EMPIRE, MEDIA — 28.JUL.2014

Rating: 3 of 5 - Good, worth a listen On The Media

Silliness and Moral Indignation — How can topical comedians like Jon Stewart, John Oliver, and Stephen Colbert make us laugh at politically hot topics we would not normally discuss in polite company? They do it by combining silliness and moral indignation.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   6:22

GP comment:  Yes, but it's sad that people who can only be nudged by such an approach are still always stuck in their overall limiting framework of thinking.

Original Show Pub Date: 25.Jul.2014

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GP CARTOONS RELATED TO
Public Speaking

 
Political Language Joke/Cartoon link; thumb of politician's head LITTLE-KNOWN POLITICAL ABBREVIATIONS
Political Language Joke/Cartoon
 
Public Speaking Jokes/Cartoon link; thumb of public speaker with raised hand PUBLIC SPEAKING AWARDS PEOPLE SHOULD TRY TO AVOID GETTING
Public Speaking Jokes/Cartoon
 
Funny Comic Cartoon link; thumb of hobbes the tiger COMIC STRIP CHARACTERS SPEAK OUT ON MODERN LAW ENFORCEMENT ISSUES
Funny Comic Cartoon

ANIMATIONS RELATED TO
Funny Quotes on Public Speaking

Bush at lectern; click to go to video page at external site; opens in new window

BUSHISMS VIDEO REVIEW

Well, love him or hate him, he'll be gone soon—barring a total usurpation of constitutional authority—and we will all be deprived of the grand gaffes and gargantuan goofs that gush from his grinning gob. The next president is almost certain to bring a decline in entertainment (and embarrassment) value, so enjoy him while you can ... with this 1-minute review of some of Bush Jr.'s worst public speaking flubs. At Google Video. No longer available

Or see more ...
Funny Animations/Videos

       
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