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FUNNY QUOTES ON PUBLIC SPEAKING

We have humorous quotes on public speaking! Quotes that give laughs to private readers and public speakers alike, with funny quotes about public speaking that include a couple of funny quote about graduation speakers.

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Funny Public Speaking Quotes . . .
GENERAL

"The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

George Jessel

"Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary."

Evan Esar

"It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech."

Mark Twain

"Today's public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can't read them either."

Gore Vidal

"What this country needs is more free speech worth listening to."

Hansell B. Duckett

"There are two things that are more difficult than making an after-dinner speech: climbing a wall which is leaning toward you and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you."

Winston Churchill

"The duty of a toastmaster is to be so dull that the succeeding speakers will appear brilliant by contrast."

Clarence B. Kelland

"Make sure you have finished speaking before your audience has finished listening."

Dorothy Sarnoff

"Speak when you are angry—and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret."

Laurence J. Peter

Every speaker has a mouth;
An arrangement rather neat.
Sometimes it's filled with wisdom.
Sometimes it's filled with feet.

Robert Orben


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Funny Public Speaking Quotes ...
FUNNY GRADUATION/COMMENCEMENT SPEAKERS QUOTES

"Nothing is as easy to make as a promise this winter to do something next summer; this is how commencement speakers are caught."

Sydney J. Harris

"A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success."

Robert Orben


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free audio news clips link; image of zombie kid - DON'T BE A MAINSTREAM MEDIA DRONE! - Free MP3 news download at Grinning Planet
 

Funny Public Speaking Quotes . . .
FUNNY, SPEAKING OF WEIRD

"HARANGUE, n. A speech by an opponent, who is known as an harrangue-outang."

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

"I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of people who go to lectures and don't want to meet them."

H. L. Mencken



 

THE EVER-POPULAR TORTURED SEGUE

 

picture of lying pol Whether you think a speaker is brilliant or is instead deserving of awards like "Most Uhms in A Speech" or "Grandest Gaffe," make sure you don't fall for any pandering, oversimplifications, and double-talk on environment and energy issues. To arm yourself against such spurious speechifying, check out our updated piece on environmental doublespeak ....




Funny Public Speaking
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Funny Campaign Quotes

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Funny Quote subject list

Jokes/Cartoons (General)

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FUNNY PUBLIC SPEAKING QUOTE

If you know any humorous quotes on public speaking that we missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it (and, if you have it, a web reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

 

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AUDIO CLIPS
MEDIA & COMMUNICATIONS

CATEGORY:  MEDIA, EMPIRE — 25.JUN.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Uprising

Glenn Greenwald on Snowden, NSA, Media, and Orwell — Investigative reporter Glenn Greenwald talks about the impact the NSA-spying information leaked by Edward Snowden has had on the public discourse and on media behavior. Topics include strict application of laws against whistleblowers but not against high officials; the apt parallel of Orwell's 1984 to today's surveillance world; the ridiculous notion that journalists can be objective; legislative measures attempting to curb some aspects of NSA surveillance programs.
Watch  |  Download/listen   27:00

GP comment:  Many talking heads who front for corporate media actually believe the delusional things they say, but many otherwise good reporters are trapped in a system that has little tolerance for reporting truth.

Original Show Pub Date: 23.Jun.2014

CATEGORY:  EMPIRE, MEDIA — 18.JUN.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Democracy Now

The Last Magazine—One Year After His Death, Michael Hastings Satirizes Corporate Media — In 2010, investigative journalist Michael Hastings' Rolling Stone article on General Stanley McChrystal, the US commander in Afghanistan, sparked a political controversy that led to McChrystal's firing. Then in 2012, Hastings wrote a major piece on the American prisoner of war, Army Sergeant Bowe Bergdahl, a subject that in 2014 has finally roiled into a public storm. A year ago this week, Hastings died in a car crash. Now, another major work from Hastings is upon us: "The Last Magazine," a posthumous, scathing satire of the corporate news media based on Hastings' time at Newsweek.
Watch  |  Download/listen   11:32

GP comment:  Despite the host and guest going out of their way to deny the possibility that Hastings was taken out, he likely was. In today's media world, TPTB will only let you get way with so much.

Original Show Pub Date: 17.Jun.2014

CATEGORY:  MEDIA, EMPIRE — 14.JUN.2014

Rating: 3 of 5 - Good, worth a listen On The Media

Intelligence Community Directive 119 — In April 2014, the Office of the Director of National Intelligence's website quietly posted Intelligence Community Directive 119, the implications of which could be devastating for journalists. Steven Aftergood talks about the effect this directive will have on contact between intelligence officials and the press.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   7:12

GP comment:  To a large extent, supposed leaks and inside info from intelligence sources are not contrary to the wishes of the intelligence establishment, they are part of a carefully woven disinformation tapestry.

Original Show Pub Date: 13.Jun.2014

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GP CARTOONS RELATED TO
Public Speaking

 
Political Language Joke/Cartoon link; thumb of politician's head LITTLE-KNOWN POLITICAL ABBREVIATIONS
Political Language Joke/Cartoon
 
Public Speaking Jokes/Cartoon link; thumb of public speaker with raised hand PUBLIC SPEAKING AWARDS PEOPLE SHOULD TRY TO AVOID GETTING
Public Speaking Jokes/Cartoon
 
Funny Comic Cartoon link; thumb of hobbes the tiger COMIC STRIP CHARACTERS SPEAK OUT ON MODERN LAW ENFORCEMENT ISSUES
Funny Comic Cartoon

ANIMATIONS RELATED TO
Funny Quotes on Public Speaking

Bush at lectern; click to go to video page at external site; opens in new window

BUSHISMS VIDEO REVIEW

Well, love him or hate him, he'll be gone soon—barring a total usurpation of constitutional authority—and we will all be deprived of the grand gaffes and gargantuan goofs that gush from his grinning gob. The next president is almost certain to bring a decline in entertainment (and embarrassment) value, so enjoy him while you can ... with this 1-minute review of some of Bush Jr.'s worst public speaking flubs. At Google Video. No longer available

Or see more ...
Funny Animations/Videos

       
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