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FUNNY DATING QUOTES, FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT DATING, FUNNY DATE QUOTATIONS

FUNNY DATING QUOTES

 
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Funny Dating Quotes . . .
GENERAL DATING

 
 

"I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it."

— Gary Shandling

 
   
 
 

"Envy is what makes you, when an acquaintance is lustily telling you that she's dating a Greek god of a guy, ask, 'Which one, Hades?' "

— Regina Barreca

 
   
 
 

"A man on a date wonders if he'll get lucky. The woman already knows."

— Monica Piper

 
   
 
 

"When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He said, 'I want my daughter back by 8:15.' I said, 'The middle of August? Cool!' "

— Steven Wright

 
   
 
 

"I date this girl for two years—and then the nagging starts: 'I wanna know your name...' "

— Mike Binder

 
   
 
 

Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.

— Mike Binder

 
 

Funny Quotes About Dating . . .
DATING ADVICE

 
 

"Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer."

— Rita Mae Brown

 
   
 
 

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."

— Jerry Seinfeld

 
   
 
 

"Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible."

— Andy Warhol

 
   
 
 

"My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away."

— Jenny McCarthy

 
   
 
 

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."

— Woody Allen

 

 

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If you know of a funny quote about dating that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it; and, if you have it, a reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name (a web page address, Bartlett's, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

 

Feed Your Brain!
AUDIO CLIPS
ABOUT HEALTH

CATEGORY:  HEALTH — 30.SEP.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good One Radio Network

Jess Armine, The Sherlock Holmes of Chronic Diseases — Jess Armine practices functional medicine and has been a health care provider for over three decades, now specializing in difficult-to-treat cases. Topics here include ... bio-individualized medicine; how the Standard of Care rules make some docs practice bad medicine; IV therapies; the biochemistry of the body; Leaky Gut Syndrome and rebuilding the gut to reduce inflammation.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   1:04:00

GP comment:  This is a blizzard of insights on how the body really works and the subtle systemic problems that can be difficult to diagnose and treat. One note: He confuses hybridized wheat with GMO wheat. The latter is not in production.

Original Show Pub Date: 23.Sep.2014

CATEGORY:  HEALTH — 26.SEP.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Infectious Myth

The CDC Vaccine Scandal — A vaccine scandal erupted recently at the CDC, with a CDC whistleblower leaking data about the suppression of the connection between the MMR vaccine and autism. Dr. Toni Bark explains why we can now say that the CDC's claim that it was unaware of any connection between MMR and autism is false, that it has been lying to US citizens to maintain the illusion that all vaccines are safe and have no significant risk of side effects.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   59:17

GP comment:  The vaccine issue is a bit tricky, as we see when Barks condemns the CDC and certain vaccines but is supportive of other vaccines. This is as it should be.

Original Show Pub Date: 02.Sep.2014

CATEGORY:  HEALTH — 08.SEP.2014

Rating: 2 of 5 - OK; if you've got the time... Awakening to Conscious Co-Creation

The Chi of Change — Is there a way out of anxiety, depression, overeating, fear, phobias, addiction, insomnia, trauma, and low self-esteem—without taking pills? Peter Field will explain how your subconscious mind has been programmed to make you feel the way you feel; how these programs can be rapidly changed through the right kind of hypnotherapy; how your most difficult feelings and emotions can help you change your life for the better.; and how you can live a balanced, meaningful life and move forward in confidence and harmony with yourself and your world.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   56:12

GP comment:  Pretty much a straight-up discussion of hypno-psychotherapy. The cases discussed are interesting enough, but I was hoping for more insights into WHY hypnotherapy works.

Original Show Pub Date: 18.Jun.2014

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