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FUNNY DATING QUOTES, FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT DATING, FUNNY DATE QUOTATIONS

FUNNY DATING QUOTES

 
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Funny Dating Quotes . . .
GENERAL DATING

 
 

"I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it."

— Gary Shandling

 
   
 
 

"Envy is what makes you, when an acquaintance is lustily telling you that she's dating a Greek god of a guy, ask, 'Which one, Hades?' "

— Regina Barreca

 
   
 
 

"A man on a date wonders if he'll get lucky. The woman already knows."

— Monica Piper

 
   
 
 

"When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He said, 'I want my daughter back by 8:15.' I said, 'The middle of August? Cool!' "

— Steven Wright

 
   
 
 

"I date this girl for two years—and then the nagging starts: 'I wanna know your name...' "

— Mike Binder

 
   
 
 

Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.

— Mike Binder

 
 

Funny Quotes About Dating . . .
DATING ADVICE

 
 

"Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer."

— Rita Mae Brown

 
   
 
 

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."

— Jerry Seinfeld

 
   
 
 

"Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible."

— Andy Warhol

 
   
 
 

"My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away."

— Jenny McCarthy

 
   
 
 

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."

— Woody Allen

 

 

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If you know of a funny quote about dating that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it; and, if you have it, a reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name (a web page address, Bartlett's, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

 

Feed Your Brain!
AUDIO CLIPS
ABOUT HEALTH

CATEGORY:  HEALTH — 29.MAR.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Nutrition Diva

Cancer Prevention—Beyond Good Diet — The Centers for Disease Control recently hosted a meeting at which experts from several different fields discussed "Opportunities for Cancer Prevention During Midlife." Why midlife? As the authors wrote, "Positive changes during this phase of life have the potential to prevent cancer incidence later in life, making this phase an opportune time for targeted prevention efforts to facilitate healthy aging and increased longevity." Nutrition Diva agrees but thinks the recommendations outlined in their report make sense at any age.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   8:16

GP comment:  Pretty good coverage. One nit: The reason the "data are not there" to support the connection between chemicals and cancer is that studies and researchers showing such connections are ruthlessly attacked by industry. Buy organic; grow your own.

Original Show Pub Date: 11.Mar.2014

CATEGORY:  HEALTH — 05.APR.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Love, Lust, and Laughter

Sexual Health for Older Men — Topics include... the life story of the (aging) penis; testosterone issues and the nuances of bioidentical hormone replacement; personality attractiveness vs. physical attractiveness; the importance of stress management and regular exercise to good sex; improving sexual stamina. This is part 2 of the interview with Dr. Dudley Danoff.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   55:46

GP comment:  If you are offended by the word "penis," this one will not be for you.

Original Show Pub Date: 25.Mar.2014

CATEGORY:  HEALTH — 27.MAR.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Beyond 50

Parent Essential Oils, Not Fish Oil — Brian Peskin discusses a torrent of research that will strike us alternative-health types as wrong—that fish oils are not only unhelpful in solving most physical ailments, they oxidize so rapidly that they actually cause problems in the body. Peskin explains why the supplement industry promotes the seemingly "irrational madness" that leads so many health providers to unwittingly prescribe or recommend pharmacological overdoses of marine oils and other oils. Peskin's solution is Parent Essential Oils—those that the body cannot manufacture from other food substrates.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   52:07

GP comment:  I heard Peskin a couple of years ago—he's really sharpened his message. However, his diminution of exercise is overstated.

Original Show Pub Date: 21.Mar.2014

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