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FUNNY DATING QUOTES, FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT DATING, FUNNY DATE QUOTATIONS

FUNNY DATING QUOTES

 
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Funny Dating Quotes . . .
GENERAL DATING

 
 

"I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it."

— Gary Shandling

 
   
 
 

"Envy is what makes you, when an acquaintance is lustily telling you that she's dating a Greek god of a guy, ask, 'Which one, Hades?' "

— Regina Barreca

 
   
 
 

"A man on a date wonders if he'll get lucky. The woman already knows."

— Monica Piper

 
   
 
 

"When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He said, 'I want my daughter back by 8:15.' I said, 'The middle of August? Cool!' "

— Steven Wright

 
   
 
 

"I date this girl for two years—and then the nagging starts: 'I wanna know your name...' "

— Mike Binder

 
   
 
 

Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.

— Mike Binder

 
 

Funny Quotes About Dating . . .
DATING ADVICE

 
 

"Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer."

— Rita Mae Brown

 
   
 
 

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."

— Jerry Seinfeld

 
   
 
 

"Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible."

— Andy Warhol

 
   
 
 

"My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away."

— Jenny McCarthy

 
   
 
 

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."

— Woody Allen

 

 

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If you know of a funny quote about dating that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it; and, if you have it, a reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name (a web page address, Bartlett's, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

 

Feed Your Brain!
AUDIO CLIPS
ABOUT HEALTH

CATEGORY:  HEALTH, FOOD — 15.AUG.2014

Rating: 3 of 5 - Good, worth a listen One Radio Network

Lita Lee on Food, Enzymes, Thyroid Function, and Overall Health — Lita Lee, PhD talks about the importance of proper digestion and assimilation of food, as well as the importance of proper thyroid function, to overall health. Are you eating healthy foods and still not as well as you think you should be? What’s wrong with fish oil and most cooking oils? Why can't people be healthy on a vegan diet? Why does everyone need gelatin for joint health? What is the connection between rheumatoid arthritis and thyroid function? Why types of digestive enzymes work best?
Go to page  |  Download/listen   55:24

GP comment:  Interesting material, but Ms. Lee could be a lot clearer in her presentation.

Original Show Pub Date: 17.Jul.2014

CATEGORY:  HEALTH — 26.AUG.2014

Rating: 3 of 5 - Good, worth a listen Fresh Air

Why We Feel Terrible After Too Many Drinks — To understand why drinking can make us feel so good—and so bad—you have to know a little about biochemistry, says journalist Adam Rogers, author of Proof: The Science of Booze. Rogers talks about the myths and realities of hangovers, including how hangovers can be an inflammatory response, like the flu.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   11:05

GP comment:  Don' ferget about the dain bramage.

Original Show Pub Date: 18.Aug.2014

CATEGORY:  HEALTH — 18.AUG.2014

Rating: 3 of 5 - Good, worth a listen On The Media

No, Ebola is NOT Coming to the US — The ebola outbreak in West Africa is unprecedented in size and geographic scope. But contrary to what the media suggests, it is definitely not coming to the United States. Dr. Daniel Bausch, an expert on the ebola virus, explains the nature of ebola and what the media keeps missing.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   5:15

GP comment:  Central bankers are the main plague in the US.

Original Show Pub Date: 15.Aug.2014

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Get more audio clips on health issues (and many other subjects) in Grinning Planet's biweekly downloadable audio news feed.

 

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