Skip to main content  
  Helping the environment one joke at a time, Grinning Planet. Click to go to home page. flying letter; click to go to signup page for free email version
Get GP free
via email !
 
   
       
 

FUNNY DATING QUOTES, FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT DATING, FUNNY DATE QUOTATIONS

FUNNY DATING QUOTES

 
    PAGE INDEX
 
  Bookmark and Share
 

Funny Dating Quotes . . .
GENERAL DATING

 
 

"I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it."

— Gary Shandling

 
   
 
 

"Envy is what makes you, when an acquaintance is lustily telling you that she's dating a Greek god of a guy, ask, 'Which one, Hades?' "

— Regina Barreca

 
   
 
 

"A man on a date wonders if he'll get lucky. The woman already knows."

— Monica Piper

 
   
 
 

"When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He said, 'I want my daughter back by 8:15.' I said, 'The middle of August? Cool!' "

— Steven Wright

 
   
 
 

"I date this girl for two years—and then the nagging starts: 'I wanna know your name...' "

— Mike Binder

 
   
 
 

Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.

— Mike Binder

 
 

Funny Quotes About Dating . . .
DATING ADVICE

 
 

"Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer."

— Rita Mae Brown

 
   
 
 

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."

— Jerry Seinfeld

 
   
 
 

"Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible."

— Andy Warhol

 
   
 
 

"My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away."

— Jenny McCarthy

 
   
 
 

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."

— Woody Allen

 

 

ADVERTISEMENT

 

Funny Dating Quotes
COMM. CENTER & RELATED STUFF

SIMILAR CATEGORIES

Funny Personality Quotes

Funny Boyfriend Quotes

Funny Valentine's Quotes

Funny Restaurant Quotes

Funny New Year Quotes

Funny Environmental Quotes

Funny Quote subject list

Jokes/Cartoons (General)

PASS ’EM ON!

Do you know someone who would like these funny quotes about dating?  Please forward to them.

Bookmark and Share

SEND ME A
FUNNY DATING QUOTE

If you know of a funny quote about dating that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it; and, if you have it, a reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name (a web page address, Bartlett's, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

 

Feed Your Brain!
AUDIO CLIPS
ABOUT HEALTH

CATEGORY:  HEALTH — 24.JUL.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good One Radio Network

Understanding the Connections Between the Cancer Protocols of Gerson, Revici, Burzynski, Hoxsey, and Others — There are many people who claim to have THE alternative therapy that can cure cancer. Some of these practitioners present compelling evidence. But what is the meta theme? What are the overarching biological principles that cut through the basket of most-promising therapies? Steve Mitchell has spent countless hours reviewing medical literature about these therapies and talks here about what we know and what we don't know.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   1:03:33

GP comment:  Mitchell is not a medical man, but he has a sharp mind and serves as an honest evaluator of the various therapies, whether they work in practice, and WHY they work.

Original Show Pub Date: 08.Jul.2014

CATEGORY:  HEALTH — 09.JUL.2014

Rating: 5 of 5 - Must-listening! One Radio Network

The Disease Delusion — Dr. Jeffrey Bland explains the principles of functional medicine and how it is designed to consider the biochemistry of the body as well as the individual quirks that we all have. It avoids the standard Western medicine "disease model," which largely treats symptoms while ignoring the underlying malfunction that is causing the problems.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   1:01:07

GP comment:  I read one of Bland's books about 15 years ago. It, along with books by two of his peers, Leo Galland and Sydney Baker, completely changed the way I view health and health care.

Original Show Pub Date: 17.Jun.2014

CATEGORY:  HEALTH — 27.JUN.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Quirks and Quarks

Malnutrition and the Microbiome — One of the tragedies of malnutrition in children is that the problems don't end when the hunger stops. A new study has shown that the microbial communities in the gut of children who experience malnutrition seem to be compromised over the long term and don't recover even after therapy and a return to a normal diet. Microbiologist Jeff Gordon led a team that found that the "microbiome" of these children seemed to be stuck in an immature state—not developing as it does under normal circumstances. This means that the children probably can't digest food properly, and leads to long term health issues, including stunted growth, a damaged immune system, and even neurological problems. Dr. Gordon hopes that understanding this problem better might lead to more effective therapies that take the gut microbiome into account.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   10:11

GP comment:  Much of the info here is also applicable to Westerners having health issues related to gut malfunction.

Original Show Pub Date: 07.Jun.2014

MORE

Get more audio clips on health issues (and many other subjects) in Grinning Planet's biweekly downloadable audio news feed.

 

SEARCH AMAZON.COM FOR MORE FUNNY STUFF ABOUT DATING

     
 

AMAZON PURCHASES FROM HERE HELP SUPPORT THIS FREE SITE. THANKS!

    

BACK TO TOP

 

Hey, we don't pick
the Google ads!   – GP

 
CLICKS ON OUR ADS AND PURCHASES VIA OUR AMAZON LINKS HELP SUPPORT THIS FREE SITE... THANKS!
   

 

seinfeld book cover; click to search Amazon for books by Jerry Seinfeld; opens in new window

View on Amazon.com:

Seinfeld books
Seinfeld DVDs

 

photo of Woody Allen; click to view Woody Allen books on Amazon dot com

View on Amazon.com:

Woody Allen  books
Woody Allen  movies

 

GP CARTOONS RELATED TO
Funny Dating Quotes

Dating Advice (Funny/Cartoon) link; thumb of man with magnifying glass DATING ADVICE:
GOOD AND BAD CHARACTERISTICS TO LOOK FOR

Dating Advice (Funny/Cartoon)
 
vampire cartoon link; thumb of dracula COUNT DRACULA’S DATING PROBLEMS
Vampire Cartoon
 
First Date Joke link; thumb of womans mouth FIRST-DATE CONVERSATION EVALUATION TIPS
First Date Joke
 
Chat Room Joke link; thumb of college girl COMMENTS HEARD IN “COLLEGE COEDS” CHAT ROOM
Chat Room Joke
       
   >              
   > document gif Sign up to get Grinning Planet free by email, or get more info about it Email a link to this page to someone  
   > Copyright 2014 © Mark Jeantheau — All rights reserved.   More info  
   
   
 
 
NEWS, ARTICLES, INFO

MP3 News Download
Video/Audio News Sites
Environmental News Sites
Investigative Journalism Sites

Environment/Energy/Economy
    - Articles/Resources By Topic
    - Articles By Date

Environmental Quotes
    - Funny Environmental Quotes
    - Peak Oil Quotes

Environmental Cartoons/Jokes
    - Environmental Videos/Animations

Environmental Products
Eco/Nature Greeting Cards

Grinning Planet Farm

FUNNY STUFF

Funny Jokes/Cartoons
    - Environmental Cartoons

Funny Animations/Videos
    - Environmental Animations/Videos

Funny Quotes
    - Environmental Funny Quotes

BOOKS

Environmental Books
Global Warming Books
Energy Books
Solar Energy Books
Peak Oil Books
Food-Gardening Books
Media Books

 
MUSIC & MOVIES

Environmental Movies
Environmental Songs
Environmental Music Videos

Album Reviews
Fun With Lyrics

ADMIN

Home Page
Search
Site Map
About Us
FAQs
Contact
Free Subscriptions
Unsubscribe
Privacy Policy