"If it weren't for caffeine I'd have no personality whatsoever!"

— Anonymous

"Economists are people who work with numbers but who don't have the personality to be accountants."

— Unknown

"I rely on my personality for birth control."

— Liz Winston

"When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place."

— Jimmy Breslin

"Without my morning coffee, I'm just like a dried up piece of roast goat."

— Johann Sebastian Bach

"It's best that I hide my real personality. I cannot tell you what it is because I don't want to go to prison."

— Gianfranco Zola

"I have to go. I'm conducting a seminar in multiple personality disorders, and it takes me forever to fill out the nametags."

— Niles Crane (David Hyde Pierce)

"The doc told me I had a dual personality. Then he lays an 82 dollar bill on me, so I give him 41 bucks and say, 'Get the other 41 bucks from the other guy.'"

— Jerry Lewis

"I am a deeply superficial person."

— Andy Warhol

"You must stop this interview now as I have come to end of my personality."

— Quentin Crisp

"Show me an actress who isn't a personality and I'll show you a woman who isn't a star."

— Katharine Hepburn

"Personality is to a man what perfume is to a flower."

— Charles Schwab

"Humility is no substitute for a good personality."

— Fran Lebowitz

"It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help."

— Miss Manners (Judith Martin)

"Don't try to take on a new personality; it doesn't work."

— Richard M. Nixon

"A man has to work so hard so that something of his personality stays alive. A tomcat has it so easy, he has only to spray and his presence is there for years on rainy days."

— Albert Einstein

"I keep my own personality in a cupboard under the stairs at home so that no one else can see it or nick it."

— Dawn French

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."

— Andy Rooney