FUNNY RESTAURANT QUOTES

"The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going."

— George Carlin

"The murals in restaurants are on par with the food in museums."

— Peter De Vries

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

— Henny Youngman

"Nouvelle Cuisine, roughly translated, means: I can't believe I paid ninety-six dollars and I'm still hungry."

— Mike Kalin

"McDonalds in Tokyo is a terrible revenge for Pearl Harbor."

— S.I. Hayakawa

"Tell the cook of this restaurant with my compliments that these are the very worst sandwiches in the whole world, and that when I ask for a watercress sandwich I do not mean a loaf with a field in the middle of it."

— Oscar Wilde

"A cannibal is a person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter."

— Morey Amsterdam

"I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time.' So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance."

— Steven Wright

"Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress, 'I'd like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.' The waitress replies, 'I'm sorry, monsieur, but we're out of cream. How about with no milk?' "

— Unknown