CORPORATIONS - FUNNY QUOTES

"I don't think meals have any business being deductible. I'm for separation of calories and corporations."

— Ralph Nader

"Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it, and that's true anywhere in the world."

— Andrew Young

"The corporations don't have to lobby the government anymore. They are the government."

— Jim Hightower

"The only difference between the Republican and Democratic parties is the velocities with which their knees hit the floor when corporations knock on their door."

— Ralph Nader

"Sharks have been swimming the oceans unchallenged for thousands of years; chances are, the species that roams corporate waters will prove just as hardy."

— Eric Gelman

"The trouble in corporate America is that too many people with too much power live in a box (their home), then travel the same road every day to another box (their office)."

— Faith Popcorn

corporation, n.
An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.

— Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

criminal, n.
A person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.

— Howard Scott

"Punk is not dead. Punk will only die when corporations can exploit and mass produce it."

— Jello Biafra

"[Commercial radio] is owned by one or two corporations now, and they're not in the music business. They're in the advertising business.... So let's not kid ourselves. If you want to hear music, go buy a guitar."

— Elvis Costello

"Corporations cannot commit treason, nor be outlawed, nor excommunicated, for they have no souls."

— Edward Coke

"Wal-Mart is the sewer pipe through which good jobs are being flushed."

— Andrew Stern

"Capitalism is the astounding belief that the most wickedest of men will do the most wickedest of things for the greatest good of everyone."

— John Maynard Keynes

"A man generally has two reasons for doing a thing: one that sounds good, and a real one."

— J.P. Morgan

From The Simpsons

Lisa Simpson: "Romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece."

From Fight Club (1999)

Narrator: "When deep space exploration ramps up, it'll be the corporations that name everything: the IBM Stellar Sphere, the Microsoft Galaxy, Planet Starbucks."

From The Tick

Tick [leading-in to commercial break]: "Brace yourself while Corporate America tries to sell us its wretched things."

From The Daily Show

Jon Stewart: "April is tax month. If you are having trouble filing your taxes, then you should hire an accountant. They'll give you the same advice that they've given hundreds of corporations—taxes are for douche bags."

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