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CORPORATIONS - FUNNY QUOTES
There were thousands of applicants for the limited positions on this funny corporate quotes page. We picked the best!
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"I don't think meals have any business being deductible. I'm for separation of calories and corporations."
— Ralph Nader
"Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it, and that's true anywhere in the world."
— Andrew Young
"The corporations don't have to lobby the government anymore. They are the government."
— Jim Hightower
"The only difference between the Republican and Democratic parties is the velocities with which their knees hit the floor when corporations knock on their door."
— Ralph Nader
"Sharks have been swimming the oceans unchallenged for thousands of years; chances are, the species that roams corporate waters will prove just as hardy."
— Eric Gelman
"The trouble in corporate America is that too many people with too much power live in a box (their home), then travel the same road every day to another box (their office)."
— Faith Popcorn
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corporation, n.
An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
— Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
criminal, n.
A person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.
— Howard Scott
"Punk is not dead. Punk will only die when corporations can exploit and mass produce it."
— Jello Biafra
"[Commercial radio] is owned by one or two corporations now, and they're not in the music business. They're in the advertising business.... So let's not kid ourselves. If you want to hear music, go buy a guitar."
— Elvis Costello
"Corporations cannot commit treason, nor be outlawed, nor excommunicated, for they have no souls."
— Edward Coke
"Wal-Mart is the sewer pipe through which good jobs are being flushed."
— Andrew Stern
"Capitalism is the astounding belief that the most wickedest of men will do the most wickedest of things for the greatest good of everyone."
— John Maynard Keynes
"A man generally has two reasons for doing a thing: one that sounds good, and a real one."
— J.P. Morgan
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FREE AUDIO CLIPS
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From The Simpsons
Lisa Simpson: "Romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece."
From Fight Club (1999)
Narrator: "When deep space exploration ramps up, it'll be the corporations that name everything: the IBM Stellar Sphere, the Microsoft Galaxy, Planet Starbucks."
From The Tick
Tick [leading-in to commercial break]: "Brace yourself while Corporate America tries to sell us its wretched things."
From The Daily Show
Jon Stewart: "April is tax month. If you are having trouble filing your taxes, then you should hire an accountant. They'll give you the same advice that they've given hundreds of corporations—taxes are for douche bags."
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Guns & Butter
A Short History of Corporatism —
05 Jun 2013 —
"Move To Amend" honcho David Cobb provides an excellent review of corporate rights throughout history—how they attained those rights, the nature of the men who helped them become powerful, and the impact that corporate power is having on our democratic republic and our sovereignty. Also discussed is the proposed 28th Amendment to the Constitution, which would abolish the idea that a corporation has constitutional rights and overturn the idea that money equals speech.
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59:52
Democracy Now
Obama-Backed Trans-Pacific Partnership Expands Corporate "Lost Profits" Lawsuits Against Nations —
06 Jun 2013 —
The Obama administration is facing increasing scrutiny for the extreme secrecy surrounding Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) negotiations. The TPP is a sweeping new trade deal that will allow international corporate business rules to trump local and national laws on everything from healthcare and internet freedom to food safety and environmental protection. Two guests discuss the TPP: Celeste Drake, a trade policy specialist with the AFL-CIO, and Jim Shultz, executive director of the Democracy Center, which has just released a new report on how corporations use trade rules to seize resources and undermine democracy.
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15:52
Progressive Commentary Hour
The Psychopathy of Our Oligarchic Elite —
20 May 2013 —
There is clearly something wrong with the upper crust—the wealthy and powerful people who are society's movers and shakers. Are they sociopaths or psychopaths? What is the difference between the two terms? Why are they so without empathy; why are they so driven to acquire wealth and power? Two analysts discuss the topic. Joel Bakan, who is a lawyer and professor of constitutional and economic law; and Christopher Bayer, who is a psychologist best known as the "Wall Street Psychologist" because of his 30 years spent treating financial executives.
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1:00:00
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Another brilliant episode in The Story of Stuff series. Using clever graphics, Annie Leonard explains how corporations acquired their current extraordinary powers and rights, and why me must make correcting this our #1 priority if we want to eventually address the other ills of society. Watch funny corporate personhood video.
In one funny video, Mark Fiore anima-shuns the dominant role of money in the American system of governance. In another, he offers an animated musical tribute to the dreams of corporations, all coming true as they transform into real live humans... Watch funny corporate personhood video.
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