"Some couples go over their budgets very carefully every month; others just go over them."

— Sally Poplin

"A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward."

— Unknown

"A budget tells us what we can't afford, but it doesn't keep us from buying it."

— William Feather

"The budget is like a mythical bean bag. Congress votes mythical beans into it, then reaches in and tries to pull real ones out."

— Will Rodgers

"The only way you can do that [decrease taxes, balance the budget, and increase military spending] is with mirrors...."

— John B. Anderson

"After the government takes enough to balance the budget, the taxpayer has the job of budgeting the balance."

— Unknown

"Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.' "

— Craig Kilborn

"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."

— George W. Bush

"As fighting in Iraq intensifies, President Bush delivered his supplemental war budget to Congress. The money will cover 30 days of fighting, then we'll be sent one war every other month until we cancel our subscription."

— Craig Kilborn

"The defense budget is more than a piggy bank for people who want to get busy beating swords into pork barrels."

— George H. W. Bush

"A billion here, a billion there—sooner or later it adds up to real money."

— Senator Everett Dirksen

"Never base your budget requests on realistic assumptions, as this could lead to a decrease in your funding."

— Scott Adams, Dilbert

"You can fool all the people all the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough."

— Joseph E. Levine

"My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income."

— Errol Flynn

"I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something."

— Jackie Mason