Skip to main content  
  Helping the environment one joke at a time, Grinning Planet. Click to go to home page. flying letter; click to go to signup page for free email version
Get GP free
via email !
 
   
       
 

FUNNY TURKEY QUOTES

Gobble up a few funny quotes about turkey (yum!), turkeys (gobble!), and Turkey Day (I ate too much!!)

    PAGE INDEX
 
  Bookmark and Share
 

Funny Turkey Quotes . . .
GENERAL

"I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Some one needs to tell the turkey, 'man, just be yourself.' "

Mitch Hedberg

"A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry—that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three Mile Island."

Johnny Carson

"A turkey never voted for an early Christmas."

Irish Proverb

"I love Thanksgiving turkey... It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts."

Arnold Schwarzenegger

"Dear Lord, I've been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us... a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird... a social being... capable of actual affection... nuzzling its young with almost human-like compassion. Anyway, it's dead and we're gonna eat it."

Berke Breathed, Bloom County


ADVERTISEMENT

 

Funny QUOTES ABOUT . . .
COOKING TURKEY

"The best way to thaw a frozen turkey? Blow in it's ear."

Johnny Carson

"No more turkey, but I'd like another helping of that bread he ate."

Anonymous

"Don't assume you're always going to be understood. I wrote in a column that one should put a cup of liquid in the cavity of a turkey when roasting it. Someone wrote me that 'the turkey tasted great, but the plastic cup melted.' "

Hints from Heloise

"Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before."

Rita Rudner


FREE AUDIO CLIPS

free audio news clips link; image of zombie kid - DON'T BE A MAINSTREAM MEDIA DRONE! - Free MP3 news download at Grinning Planet

 

THE EVER-POPULAR TORTURED SEGUE

 

picture of chicken carcasses hanging in a slaughterhouse Chickens and turkeys share much the same fate in today's "factory farms." It's not particularly festive reading, but any compassionate chewer of these fine feathered fowl should know the truth, so check out our article on chicken raising ...

 

Funny Turkey Quotes
COMM. CENTER & RELATED STUFF

SIMILAR CATEGORIES

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

Funny Chicken Quotes

Funny Pigeon Quotes

Funny Environmental Quotes

Funny Quote subject list

Jokes/Cartoons (General)

PASS ’EM ON!

Do you know someone who would like these funny quotes about turkey? Please  forward to them.

Bookmark and Share

SEND ME A
FUNNY TURKEY QUOTE

If you know of a funny turkey quote that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it; and, if you have it, a reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name (a web page address, Bartlett's, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

 

Feed Your Brain!
AUDIO CLIPS
FOOD & NUTRITION

CATEGORY:  FOOD — 26.AUG.2014

Rating: 2 of 5 - OK; if you've got the time... Fresh Air

The Bittersweet Truth About Artificial Flavors — "Flavorings were like gravity or electricity—something that was all around me but that I had never paid any attention to," Stephan Eirik Clark explains. His novel, Sweetness 9—the product of over a decade of research—explores the strange world of food flavorings, where chemicals are used to trick taste buds into thinking they're getting plant-based flavorings. Some of the moral and health issues are explored.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   26:10

GP comment:  Aspartame is to sugar as Mr. Clark's comments are to investigative journalism: The experience is not unpleasant, but it's not the same thing.

Original Show Pub Date: 18.Aug.2014

CATEGORY:  FOOD, ORGANICS — 18.AUG.2014

Rating: 3 of 5 - Good, worth a listen Diet Science

Meta-Study Says Organic Produce Wins — A new meta-study says organic produce beats conventional produce: more nutrients, less toxic residue. Organic has higher levels of nutrients like flavanones, vitamin C, and beta carotene, as well as lower levels of sludge fertilizer toxins like cadmium. This is contrasted to the Stanford study from two years ago, in which the researchers claimed there was no nutritional benefit from eating organic. The new meta-study is much larger.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   7:00

GP comment:  I wonder who paid for that Stanford study? Or for the new one, for that matter.

Original Show Pub Date: 04.Aug.2014

CATEGORY:  HEALTH, FOOD — 15.AUG.2014

Rating: 3 of 5 - Good, worth a listen One Radio Network

Lita Lee on Food, Enzymes, Thyroid Function, and Overall Health — Lita Lee, PhD talks about the importance of proper digestion and assimilation of food, as well as the importance of proper thyroid function, to overall health. Are you eating healthy foods and still not as well as you think you should be? What’s wrong with fish oil and most cooking oils? Why can't people be healthy on a vegan diet? Why does everyone need gelatin for joint health? What is the connection between rheumatoid arthritis and thyroid function? Why types of digestive enzymes work best?
Go to page  |  Download/listen   55:24

GP comment:  Interesting material, but Ms. Lee could be a lot clearer in her presentation.

Original Show Pub Date: 17.Jul.2014

MORE

Get more audio clips on food, diet, and nutrition (and many other subjects) in Grinning Planet's biweekly downloadable audio news feed.

 

 

Search Amazon.com ...

     
 

AMAZON PURCHASES FROM HERE HELP SUPPORT THIS FREE SITE. THANKS!

    

BACK TO TOP

 

Hey, we don't pick
the Google ads!   – GP

 
CLICKS ON OUR ADS AND PURCHASES VIA OUR AMAZON LINKS HELP SUPPORT THIS FREE SITE... THANKS!

image of Opus and Bill The Cat from Bloom County; click to view on Amazon dot com

View on Amazon.com:

Bloom County
(books, t-shirts, DVDs)

   

GP CARTOONS RELATED TO
Turkey

 
thanksgiving cartoon link, thumb of chef cooking turkey HOW PEOPLE LIKE TO SERVE THANKSGIVING DINNER
Thanksgiving Cartoon
 
thanksgiving joke / turkey cartoon link; thumb of raw turkey THE THANKSGIVING QUIZ
Thanksgiving Joke / Turkey Cartoon
 
thanksgiving stuffing joke; thumb of chef cooking turkey WHAT PEOPLE MAKE THEIR FAVORITE TURKEY STUFFING FROM
Thanksgiving Stuffing Joke

ANIMATIONS RELATED TO
Funny Turkey Quotes

animated image of bunny with a roasted turkey; click to see video on YouTube

BUNNIES CAN'T COOK TURKEY

A very short cute animation about why your holiday dinner should not be entrusted to a bunny. From RaymanZone via YouTube. Go there

image of man's head against Family Feud scoreboard; click to see video on YouTube

FAMILY FUED TURKEY

This contestant on the British version of Family Feud has a cranium that is apparently stuff with ... turkey! Via YouTube. Go there

       
   >              
   > document gif Sign up to get Grinning Planet free by email, or get more info about it Email a link to this page to someone  
   > Copyright 2014 © Mark Jeantheau — All rights reserved.   More info  
   
   
 
 
NEWS, ARTICLES, INFO

MP3 News Download
Video/Audio News Sites
Environmental News Sites
Investigative Journalism Sites

Environment/Energy/Economy
    - Articles/Resources By Topic
    - Articles By Date

Environmental Quotes
    - Funny Environmental Quotes
    - Peak Oil Quotes

Environmental Cartoons/Jokes
    - Environmental Videos/Animations

Environmental Products
Eco/Nature Greeting Cards

Grinning Planet Farm

FUNNY STUFF

Funny Jokes/Cartoons
    - Environmental Cartoons

Funny Animations/Videos
    - Environmental Animations/Videos

Funny Quotes
    - Environmental Funny Quotes

BOOKS

Environmental Books
Global Warming Books
Energy Books
Solar Energy Books
Peak Oil Books
Food-Gardening Books
Media Books

 
MUSIC & MOVIES

Environmental Movies
Environmental Songs
Environmental Music Videos

Album Reviews
Fun With Lyrics

ADMIN

Home Page
Search
Site Map
About Us
FAQs
Contact
Free Subscriptions
Unsubscribe
Privacy Policy