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FUNNY TURKEY QUOTES
Gobble up a few funny quotes about turkey (yum!), turkeys (gobble!), and Turkey Day (I ate too much!!)
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"I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Some one needs to tell the turkey, 'man, just be yourself.' "
— Mitch Hedberg
"A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry—that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three Mile Island."
— Johnny Carson
"A turkey never voted for an early Christmas."
— Irish Proverb
"Dear Lord, I've been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us... a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird... a social being... capable of actual affection... nuzzling its young with almost human-like compassion. Anyway, it's dead and we're gonna eat it."
— Berke Breathed, Bloom County
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"The best way to thaw a frozen turkey? Blow in it's ear."
— Johnny Carson
"No more turkey, but I'd like another helping of that bread he ate."
— Anonymous
"Don't assume you're always going to be understood. I wrote in a column that one should put a cup of liquid in the cavity of a turkey when roasting it. Someone wrote me that 'the turkey tasted great, but the plastic cup melted.' "
— Hints from Heloise
"Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before."
— Rita Rudner
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Chickens and turkeys share much the same fate in today's "factory farms." It's not particularly festive reading, but any compassionate chewer of these fine feathered fowl should know the truth, so check out our article on
chicken raising ...
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FUNNY TURKEY QUOTE
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View on Amazon.com:
Bloom County
(books, t-shirts, DVDs)
A very short cute animation about why your holiday dinner should not be entrusted to a bunny. From RaymanZone via YouTube.
Go there
This contestant on the British version of Family Feud has a cranium that is apparently stuff with ... turkey! Via YouTube.
Go there
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