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FUNNY PIGEON QUOTES, FUNNY PIGEON QUOTATIONS, HUMOROUS QUOTES PIDGEONS

FUNNY PIGEON QUOTES

 
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Funny Pigeon Quotes . . .
GENERAL

 
 

"I don't go to the gym or practice yoga. And the closest thing I have to a nutritionist is the Carlsberg Beer Company. I just have the appetite of a pigeon."

— Colin Farrell

 
   
 
 

"Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue."

— Dilbert [Scott Adams]

 
   
 
 

"France has found a unique way of controlling its unwanted critter population. They have done this by giving unwanted animals like snails, pigeons, and frogs fancy names, thus transforming common backyard pests into expensive delicacies. These are then served to gullible tourists, who will eat anything they can't pronounce."

— Chris Harris

 
   
 
 

"The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere."

— Jim Hightower

 
   
 
 

"I think people should mate for life, like pigeons or Catholics."

— Woody Allen

 
 

Funny Pigeon Quotes . . .
FROM THE WORLD OF POLITICS

 
 

Have you ever noticed:
When you're feeling really good,
There's always a pigeon
That'll come shit on your hood;
Or you're feeling your freedom
And the world's off your back—
Some cowboy from Texas
Starts his own war in Iraq.

— John Prine

 
   
 
 

"I already shred all my mail. What am I supposed to do now? Use pay phones? Smoke signals? Train pigeons? There's no such thing as privacy anymore."

— Dennis Adams

 
   
 
 

"I don't mind being a symbol but I don't want to become a monument. There are monuments all over the Parliament Buildings and I've seen what the pigeons do to them."

— Tommy Douglas

 
 

Funny Pigeon Quotes That Are
CURIOUSLY FUNNY

 
 

"A man must keep his mouth open a long while before a roast pigeon files into it."

— Danish Proverb

 
   
 
 

"A Thaum is the basic unit of magical strength. It has been universally established as the amount of magic needed to create one small white pigeon or three normal-sized billiard balls."

— Terry Pratchett

 

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If you know of a funny pigeon quote that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it; and, if you have it, a reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name (a web page address, Bartlett's, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

 

Feed Your Brain!
AUDIO CLIPS
ANIMAL WELFARE AND SPECIES

CATEGORY:  ENVIRONMENT (WATER), SPECIES — 28.AUG.2014

Rating: 3 of 5 - Good, worth a listen Resistance Radio

The Colorado River—Past, Present, and Future — Gary Wockner coordinates the Save the Colorado River Campaign, whose mission is to protect and restore the Colorado River and its tributaries from the source to the sea. Topics include the history of the river; water rights and farms vs. cities; impact of dams and water rights on species; and opportunities for improving the river's future.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   39:45

GP comment:  The chance of a major hydroelectric dam coming down to benefit species is zero (and, from an overall environmental perspective, should be zero). It's good that their "dam talk" acknowledges that reality.

Original Show Pub Date: 24.Aug.2014

CATEGORY:  SPECIES — 21.AUG.2014

Rating: 3 of 5 - Good, worth a listen Resistance Radio

Sorry, Charlie—Fish Aren't So Dumb After All — Animal behavioralist Culum Brown discusses the fascinating learning and memory aspects of fish ecology. Fish can remember and apply previous experiences to improve their success in areas such as food gathering and interactions with other species.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   50:00

GP comment:  Even in the lowly fish, the moronic phrase "they're just dumb animals" does not apply.

Original Show Pub Date: 10.Aug.2014

CATEGORY:  SPECIES — 21.AUG.2014

Rating: 2 of 5 - OK; if you've got the time... NPR

Glass-Free Menagerie New Zoo Concept Gets Rid Of Enclosures — For animal lovers, zoos can be a mixed bag. It's amazing to be in shouting distance of magnificent wild animals, but it's hard not to get the feeling that great apes, big cats, and other creatures don't really love being behind bars, walls, and windows. Now, a Danish architectural firm is working with the Givskud Zoo and safari park in Denmark to eliminate the walls and create what they're calling Zootopia.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   4:01

GP comment:  Or we could stop destroying the animals' natural habitats.

Original Show Pub Date: 09.Aug.2014

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Funny Pigeon Quotes

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