Diane: "Sam, if I am to serve both as a waitress and a butt of jokes, I think I should make more money."
Carla: "Yeah, what does a good butt make in this town?"
Roseanne [to Becky, who walks in wearing her skimpy waitress outfit]: "So, did you make many tips tonight? Or won't you know 'til you shake out your underpants?"
From House of Mouse
Max: "Head waiter is the easiest job. All you do is order the penguins around and read the funny menu."
From The Cowboy Way
Waiter at Waldorf Astoria: "And would you care to order wine with your meal?"
Pepper: "Uh, yah, why don't you bring us a bottle of something or other, uh, not too sweet, American."
Waiter: "'American something or other'—yes, sir, an excellent choice. And would you like glasses, or do you prefer to drink directly from the bottle?"
Pepper: "Well, um, glasses I reckon. And, oh, hay, toss a little ice in mine if you would, my good man."
Waiter: "Ice. Certainly, sir. Nothing could surprise me now."