FUNNY BRAIN QUOTES

"The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public."

— George Jessel

"I believe in an open mind, but not so open that your brains fall out."

— Arthur Hays Sulzberger

"I am a Bear of Very Little Brain, and long words bother me."

— Pooh (A. A. Milne), from Winnie-the-Pooh

"The way I see it... If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you're doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too."

— Ellen DeGeneres, on cell phones and driving

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."

— Robin Williams

"God gave women intuition and femininity. Used properly, the combination easily jumbles the brain of any man I've ever met."

— Farrah Fawcett

"Brain: An apparatus with which we think we think."

— Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

"Aristotle was famous for knowing everything. He taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons."

— Will Cuppy

Estimated amount of glucose used by an adult human brain each day, expressed in M&Ms: 250

— Harper's Index

"I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this."

— Emo Phillips

"I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it."

— Groucho Marx

From The Simpsons

Homer Simpson: "How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"

From The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show

Bullwinkle: "You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit."

General: "What does that make you?"

Bullwinkle: "What else? An executive..."

From Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets

Arthur Weasley: "Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain."

From Cheers

Cliff Clavin: "Interesting little article here. It says that the average human being only uses 17% of his brain. Boy, you realize what that means? We don't use a full, uh... 64%."

From Frasier

Roz Doyle: "And as for my hangover, it was worth it. I partied my ass off like a brain-damaged test monkey!"

From The Office

Michael Scott: "This website is the brainchild of my brainchild, Ryan. It is my brain-grandchild."

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