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FUNNY BRAIN QUOTES

We think it's funny - brain quotes are something people don't mind! And funny quotes about brains are something to think about...

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Funny Brain Quote ...
GENERAL

"The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public."

George Jessel

"I believe in an open mind, but not so open that your brains fall out."

Arthur Hays Sulzberger

"I am a Bear of Very Little Brain, and long words bother me."

Pooh (A. A. Milne), from Winnie-the-Pooh

"The way I see it... If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you're doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too."

Ellen DeGeneres, on cell phones and driving


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Brain - Funny Quotes ....
DOH!

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." farrah fawcett in poster format

Robin Williams

"God gave women intuition and femininity. Used properly, the combination easily jumbles the brain of any man I've ever met."

Farrah Fawcett

"Brain: An apparatus with which we think we think."

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

"Aristotle was famous for knowing everything. He taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons."

Will Cuppy


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Funny Brain Quotes ...
CRAZY, MAN!

Estimated amount of glucose used by an adult human brain each day, expressed in M&Ms: 250

Harper's Index

"I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this."

Emo Phillips

"I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it."

Groucho Marx

 
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Funny Quotes about Brains ...
FROM MOVIES AND TV

From The Simpsons

Homer Simpson: "How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?" rocky and bullwinkle video cover; click to see DVD on Amazon.com

From The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show

Bullwinkle: "You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit."

General: "What does that make you?"

Bullwinkle: "What else? An executive..."

From Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets

Arthur Weasley: "Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain."

From Cheers

Cliff Clavin: "Interesting little article here. It says that the average human being only uses 17% of his brain. Boy, you realize what that means? We don't use a full, uh... 64%." Roz Doyle on phone

From Frasier

Roz Doyle: "And as for my hangover, it was worth it. I partied my ass off like a brain-damaged test monkey!"

From The Office

Michael Scott: "This website is the brainchild of my brainchild, Ryan. It is my brain-grandchild."

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FUNNY BRAIN QUOTE

If you know of a funny brain quote that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it (and, if you have it, a web reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

 

Feed Your Brain!
AUDIO CLIPS
ON HEALTH ISSUES

CATEGORY:  HEALTH — 24.JUL.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good One Radio Network

Understanding the Connections Between the Cancer Protocols of Gerson, Revici, Burzynski, Hoxsey, and Others — There are many people who claim to have THE alternative therapy that can cure cancer. Some of these practitioners present compelling evidence. But what is the meta theme? What are the overarching biological principles that cut through the basket of most-promising therapies? Steve Mitchell has spent countless hours reviewing medical literature about these therapies and talks here about what we know and what we don't know.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   1:03:33

GP comment:  Mitchell is not a medical man, but he has a sharp mind and serves as an honest evaluator of the various therapies, whether they work in practice, and WHY they work.

Original Show Pub Date: 08.Jul.2014

CATEGORY:  HEALTH — 09.JUL.2014

Rating: 5 of 5 - Must-listening! One Radio Network

The Disease Delusion — Dr. Jeffrey Bland explains the principles of functional medicine and how it is designed to consider the biochemistry of the body as well as the individual quirks that we all have. It avoids the standard Western medicine "disease model," which largely treats symptoms while ignoring the underlying malfunction that is causing the problems.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   1:01:07

GP comment:  I read one of Bland's books about 15 years ago. It, along with books by two of his peers, Leo Galland and Sydney Baker, completely changed the way I view health and health care.

Original Show Pub Date: 17.Jun.2014

CATEGORY:  HEALTH — 27.JUN.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Quirks and Quarks

Malnutrition and the Microbiome — One of the tragedies of malnutrition in children is that the problems don't end when the hunger stops. A new study has shown that the microbial communities in the gut of children who experience malnutrition seem to be compromised over the long term and don't recover even after therapy and a return to a normal diet. Microbiologist Jeff Gordon led a team that found that the "microbiome" of these children seemed to be stuck in an immature state—not developing as it does under normal circumstances. This means that the children probably can't digest food properly, and leads to long term health issues, including stunted growth, a damaged immune system, and even neurological problems. Dr. Gordon hopes that understanding this problem better might lead to more effective therapies that take the gut microbiome into account.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   10:11

GP comment:  Much of the info here is also applicable to Westerners having health issues related to gut malfunction.

Original Show Pub Date: 07.Jun.2014

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GP CARTOONS RELATED TO
Brain

 
Brain Cartoon link; thumb of brain halves THE TWO HALVES OF THE BRAIN—EXAMPLES OF WHAT THEY CONTROL
Brain Cartoon
 
Judge Joke link; thumb of judge with big mouth HOW TO TELL IF A JUDGE IS A LITTLE BIT NUTS
Judge Joke
 
virus cartoon link; thumb of sick man HOW A VIRUS INVADES THE BODY
Virus Joke/Cartoon

ANIMATIONS RELATED TO
Funny Brain Quotes

funny brain video link; thumb of mark gungor on stage

MEN’S BRAINS VS. WOMEN’S BRAINS

Mark Gungor gives a funny talk on the differences between men's brains and women's brains—and how that affects the way we deal with each other.  Watch funny brain video.

brain funny video link; thumb of pinky and brain in cage

"PARTS OF THE BRAIN" VIDEO

Pinky asks the Brain to explain the brain, which he does in a fun, mildly educational manner. Watch brain funny video.

Or see more ...
Funny Animations/Videos

       
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