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FUNNY BRAIN QUOTES

We think it's funny - brain quotes are something people don't mind! And funny quotes about brains are something to think about...

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Funny Brain Quote ...
GENERAL

"The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public."

George Jessel

"I believe in an open mind, but not so open that your brains fall out."

Arthur Hays Sulzberger

"I am a Bear of Very Little Brain, and long words bother me."

Pooh (A. A. Milne), from Winnie-the-Pooh

"The way I see it... If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you're doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too."

Ellen DeGeneres, on cell phones and driving


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Brain - Funny Quotes ....
DOH!

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." farrah fawcett in poster format

Robin Williams

"God gave women intuition and femininity. Used properly, the combination easily jumbles the brain of any man I've ever met."

Farrah Fawcett

"Brain: An apparatus with which we think we think."

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

"Aristotle was famous for knowing everything. He taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons."

Will Cuppy


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Funny Brain Quotes ...
CRAZY, MAN!

Estimated amount of glucose used by an adult human brain each day, expressed in M&Ms: 250

Harper's Index

"I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this."

Emo Phillips

"I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it."

Groucho Marx

 
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Funny Quotes about Brains ...
FROM MOVIES AND TV

From The Simpsons

Homer Simpson: "How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?" rocky and bullwinkle video cover; click to see DVD on Amazon.com

From The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show

Bullwinkle: "You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit."

General: "What does that make you?"

Bullwinkle: "What else? An executive..."

From Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets

Arthur Weasley: "Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain."

From Cheers

Cliff Clavin: "Interesting little article here. It says that the average human being only uses 17% of his brain. Boy, you realize what that means? We don't use a full, uh... 64%." Roz Doyle on phone

From Frasier

Roz Doyle: "And as for my hangover, it was worth it. I partied my ass off like a brain-damaged test monkey!"

From The Office

Michael Scott: "This website is the brainchild of my brainchild, Ryan. It is my brain-grandchild."

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Funny Brain Quotes
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If you know of a funny brain quote that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it (and, if you have it, a web reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

 

Feed Your Brain!
AUDIO CLIPS
ON HEALTH ISSUES

CATEGORY:  HEALTH — 29.MAR.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Nutrition Diva

Cancer Prevention—Beyond Good Diet — The Centers for Disease Control recently hosted a meeting at which experts from several different fields discussed "Opportunities for Cancer Prevention During Midlife." Why midlife? As the authors wrote, "Positive changes during this phase of life have the potential to prevent cancer incidence later in life, making this phase an opportune time for targeted prevention efforts to facilitate healthy aging and increased longevity." Nutrition Diva agrees but thinks the recommendations outlined in their report make sense at any age.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   8:16

GP comment:  Pretty good coverage. One nit: The reason the "data are not there" to support the connection between chemicals and cancer is that studies and researchers showing such connections are ruthlessly attacked by industry. Buy organic; grow your own.

Original Show Pub Date: 11.Mar.2014

CATEGORY:  HEALTH — 05.APR.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Love, Lust, and Laughter

Sexual Health for Older Men — Topics include... the life story of the (aging) penis; testosterone issues and the nuances of bioidentical hormone replacement; personality attractiveness vs. physical attractiveness; the importance of stress management and regular exercise to good sex; improving sexual stamina. This is part 2 of the interview with Dr. Dudley Danoff.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   55:46

GP comment:  If you are offended by the word "penis," this one will not be for you.

Original Show Pub Date: 25.Mar.2014

CATEGORY:  HEALTH — 27.MAR.2014

Rating: 4 of 5 - Very good Beyond 50

Parent Essential Oils, Not Fish Oil — Brian Peskin discusses a torrent of research that will strike us alternative-health types as wrong—that fish oils are not only unhelpful in solving most physical ailments, they oxidize so rapidly that they actually cause problems in the body. Peskin explains why the supplement industry promotes the seemingly "irrational madness" that leads so many health providers to unwittingly prescribe or recommend pharmacological overdoses of marine oils and other oils. Peskin's solution is Parent Essential Oils—those that the body cannot manufacture from other food substrates.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   52:07

GP comment:  I heard Peskin a couple of years ago—he's really sharpened his message. However, his diminution of exercise is overstated.

Original Show Pub Date: 21.Mar.2014

MORE

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GP CARTOONS RELATED TO
Brain

 
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Brain Cartoon
 
Judge Joke link; thumb of judge with big mouth HOW TO TELL IF A JUDGE IS A LITTLE BIT NUTS
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ANIMATIONS RELATED TO
Funny Brain Quotes

funny brain video link; thumb of mark gungor on stage

MEN’S BRAINS VS. WOMEN’S BRAINS

Mark Gungor gives a funny talk on the differences between men's brains and women's brains—and how that affects the way we deal with each other.  Watch funny brain video.

brain funny video link; thumb of pinky and brain in cage

"PARTS OF THE BRAIN" VIDEO

Pinky asks the Brain to explain the brain, which he does in a fun, mildly educational manner. Watch brain funny video.

Or see more ...
Funny Animations/Videos

       
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