FUNNY ALIEN QUOTES

"The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big trouble."

— Ellen DeGeneres

"How would it be if we discovered that aliens only stopped by earth to let their kids take a leak?"

— Jay Leno

"What are you gonna do, talk the alien to death?"

— James Cameron, on Sigourney Weaver's concern about the use of guns in Aliens

"Babies have big heads and big eyes, and tiny little bodies with tiny little arms and legs. So did the aliens at Roswell! I rest my case."

— William Shatner

"Don't get me wrong—I'm very thankful for all the aliens I've met and loved."

— Jonathan Frakes, actor, Lt. Riker on
Star Trek: The Next Generation

From The Simpsons

Leonard Nimoy: "Hello. I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is: No."

From 3rd Rock from the Sun

Tommy Solomon: "At first, I was conflicted. We come from very different backgrounds. I'm an alien and she's a Presbyterian."

From Doctor Who

Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: "Just once, I wish we would encounter an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets."

From Doctor Who

Rose Tyler: "I think you should do a scan for alien tech. Give me some Spock! Just once, would it kill you?"

From Perfect Strangers

Balki: "Yepper! I may be an alien bent on world conquest, but I am no liar."

From Futurama

Captain Zapp Brannigan: "We have failed to uphold Brannigan's Law. However I did make it with a hot alien babe. And in the end, is that not what man has dreamt of since first he looked up at the stars?"

From Futurama

Captain Zapp Brannigan: "Now, like all great plans, my strategy is so simple an idiot could have devised it. On my command all ships will line up and fly directly into the alien death cannons, clogging them with wreckage."

From Dark Star (1974)

Computer: "May I remind you, Sgt. Pinback, it was your idea to bring the alien on board in the first place. If I may quote you, you said the ship needed a mascot."

From Art House (1998)

Joey: "Do whatever you want, strange alien beings. Take my blood, my organs, my semen, but please, please, don't make me late for work."

From Sphere (1998)

Barnes: "If this translation is right this alien sounds like an idiot."

Beth: "That's something to consider—a stupid alien. Well, they must have them."

From Sphere (1998)

Barnes: "I want a full name for my report. I'm not putting in my report that I lost a crew member on a deep-sat expedition to find an alien named 'Jerry.' "

From The Wrong Guy (1997)

Lynn Holden: "I feel that I'm a pretty intuitive person. Except for that one guy who said he was an advanced scout for an alien invasion force but it turned out he just wanted to get inside my pants."