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FUNNY AIRPLANE QUOTES

Hi, I'm Wordy -- fly me ... and my funny airplane quotes and air travel quotes.

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Funny Airplane Quotes . . .
GENERAL

"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo."

Al Gore

"Oldtimers, weekends, and airplane landings are alike. If you can walk away from them, they're successful."

Casey Stengel

"I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me they are wonderful things for other people to go on."

Jean Kerr

"I realized that If I had to choose, I would rather have birds than airplanes."

Charles Lindbergh, Interview shortly before his death, 1974

. . . AND OUR FAVORITE Airplane Quote . . .

Muhammad Ali: "Superman don't need no seat belt."

Flight attendant: "Superman don't need no airplane, either."


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More Airplane Quotes Funny . . .
8 MILES HIGH

"Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in those tiny toilets. These men should not be encouraged, their fantasies are sadly low-rent and unimaginative. Affect an aloof, cool demeanor as soon as any man tries to draw you out. Unless, of course, he's the pilot."

Cynthia Heimel

"We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke, contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wing of the airplane."

Unknown flight attendant


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free audio news clips link; image of zombie kid - DON'T BE A MAINSTREAM MEDIA DRONE! - Free MP3 news download at Grinning Planet
 

The Best Funny Airplane Quotes from the. . .
AIRPLANE MOVIE

Airplane's Tagline: "What's slower than a speeding bullet, and able to hit tall buildings at a single bound?"

Rumack: "You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital."

Elaine Dickinson: "A hospital? What is it?"

Rumack: "It's a big building with patients..."

[as plane prepares for takeoff]

Hanging Lady: "Nervous?"

Ted Striker: "Yes."

Hanging Lady: "First time?"

Ted Striker: "No, I've been nervous lots of times."

Elaine Dickinson: "There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?"

Ted Striker: "Surely you can't be serious."

Rumack: "I am serious... and don't call me Shirley."

Jack Kilpatrick: "Shana, they bought their tickets, they knew what they were getting into. I say, let 'em crash."

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THE EVER-POPULAR TORTURED SEGUE

 

thumb of foam coffee cups Air travel and foam go hand in hand—hopefully not in terms of emergency landings—but usually in terms of foam cups for coffee and sometimes foam clamshells for airplane mea1s. What about chemicals leaching from these foam containers into your food ... and then into you? Check out our article about the potential health effects of foam cups and food containers ...



Funny Airplane Quotes
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FUNNY AIRPLANE QUOTE

If you know of a funny airplane quote that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it; and, if you have it, a reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name (a web page address, Bartlett's, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

 

Feed Your Brain!
AUDIO CLIPS
ON TRANSPORTATION SUBJECTS

CATEGORY:  TRANSPORTATION — 24.MAR.2014

Rating: 3 of 5 - Good, worth a listen Living On Earth

Boosting Public Transit — Congestion and smog in Paris are bad enough that authorities are taking aggressive measures to deal with the problem. Can bold steps taken in an iconic city abroad make Americans more accepting of the actions necessary to solve transportation woes in US cities? Former Massachusetts Transportation Secretary Fred Salvucci explains why public transit is a key to limiting congestion and reducing emissions from cars. in spite of this, many cities with public transit, including Boston, aren't keeping up with growing demand and infrastructure requirements.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   9:50

GP comment:  Mass transit is low-hanging fruit for almost all cities, yet investments always seem to lag. It doesn't make sense.

Original Show Pub Date: 21.Mar.2014

CATEGORY:  ENERGY, TRANSPORTATION — 29.JAN.2014

Rating: 3 of 5 - Good, worth a listen Living On Earth

Explosive Oil Trains — The past year has seen a marked increase in oil train derailments and explosions, including the deadly accident in Lac-Megantic in Quebec that killed 47 people. These events have raised questions about oil transport in North America. Canadian journalist Jacquie McNish discusses.
Go to page  |  Download/listen   15:06

GP comment:  You gotta love the desperation of industry when they use "it was a once-in-a-lifetime accident" because "there was a hill and the brakes failed." And, as with the ocean-based oil tanker industry, the oil-by-rail industry has mightily resisted the push to use shielded double-wall rail cars. And P.S. Also mentioned in passing is that the US is headed for "energy independence." That is a myth.

Original Show Pub Date: 24.Jan.2014

CATEGORY:  INTERNET, PRIVACY, VEHICLES — 29.JAN.2014

Rating: 3 of 5 - Good, worth a listen NPR

Putting The Brake On Who Can See Your Car's Data Trail — Many car owners WANT their vehicles to be tracked; for instance, with OnStar, LoJack, or Garmin. But in newer vehicles, onboard computers monitor many operating characteristics, such as speed, direction, and safety belt use. Additionally, companies like Google are gearing up offer in-vehicle services. Who owns—and controls—the use of all this vehicle-based data?
Go to page  |  Download/listen   3:57

GP comment:  And now Big Brother is a backseat driver?

Original Show Pub Date: 22.Jan.2014

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ANIMATIONS RELATED TO
Funny Airplane Cartoon

graham chapman and john cleese as airline pilots in cockpit; click to see animation/video at external site; opens in new window

MONTY PYTHON - AIRPLANE SKETCHES — In funny video sketch #1, Graham Chapman and John Cleese play airline pilots in the airplane cockpit, bored with the flight and intent on irritating their passengers with prank announcements. In the second sketch, Chapman and Cleese are confronted by Michael Palin as a hijacker—polite and logical to a fault.

Watch funny airplane videos

Or see more ...
Funny Animations/Videos

   

GP CARTOONS RELATED TO
Airplane/Airline/Air Travel

 
Airplane Cartoon link; thumb of airplane passenger THINGS PEOPLE HATE ABOUT AIRPLANES AND AIR TRAVEL
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