FUNNY TOY QUOTES

"The difference between men and boys
Is the price of their toys. "

— Unknown

"He who dies with the most toys wins."

— Unknown

"He who dies with the most toys is, nonetheless, still dead."

— Unknown

"When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, 'Do you have any toy train schedules?' "

— Steven Wright

"I didn't get a toy train like the other kids. I got a toy subway instead. You couldn't see anything, but every now and then you'd hear this rumbling noise go by."

— Steven Wright

"The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent."

— Sam Levenson

"I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, 'toys not included.' "

— Bernard Manning

"Apparently the new high-tech Star Wars toys will be in stores any day now. The toys can talk and are interactive, so they can be easily distinguished from Star Wars fans."

— Conan O'Brien

"If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?"

— Steven Wright

"I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio."

— Joan Rivers

"It's amazing how much a few pieces of plastic and paper will sell for if the purchasers are parents or grandparents."

— Lawrence Kutner

"Sports is the toy department of human life."

— Howard Cosell

"Toys were lots of fun before they became capitalist tools."

— Beth Copeland Vargo

"Our inventions are wont to be pretty toys, which distract our attention from serious things. They are but improved means to an unimproved end."

— Henry David Thoreau

"Some parents say it is toy guns that make boys warlike. But give a boy a rubber duck and he will seize its neck like the butt of a pistol and shout 'Bang!' "

— George F. Will

"You really can't blame the military for wanting to go to war [in Iraq]. They've got all these new toys and they want to know whether they work or not."

— Andy Rooney