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FUNNY TREES/FORESTS QUOTES

We'll leave it up to you to bark out the laughs when you read these funny quotes about forests and trees.

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Funny Trees and Forests Quotes ...
GENERAL

"As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree'—probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on."

Woody Allen

"Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them."

Bill Vaughan

"Always watch where you are going. Otherwise, you may step on a piece of the Forest that was left out by mistake."

from Pooh's Little Instruction Book, inspired by A. A. Milne

"Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong."

George Carlin

"I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all."

Ogden Nash

"If a tree falls in the woods, and there's no one there to hear it, how will the environmentalists react?"

Anonymous


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Trees and Forests - Funny Funny Quotes
FROM LEFT FIELD

"I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap."

Rodney Dangerfield

"I am as frustrated with society as a pyromaniac in a petrified forest."

A. Whitney Brown

"If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?"

Jenny Weber

"If a tree falls in a forest and lands on a politician, even if you can't hear the tree or the screams, I'll bet you'd at least hear the applause."

Paul Tindale

"A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense."

Proverb

"Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exception of a moose singing 'Embraceable You' in spats."

Woody Allen



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thumb of toucan in forest YOU’VE JUST BEEN TRANSFERRED TO THE THINKING DEPARTMENT
Now that you've had a few laughs, re-root your thinking to important matter, as we talk about in this Rainforest Destruction article. Or check out some videos about trees and forests



Funny Tree/Forest Quotes
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If you know of a funny tree/forest quote that I missed, please email it to me. Provide the text of the quote and who said it (and, if you have it, a web reference where we can verify the text and the spelling of the person's name, etc.). So... email me a quote. Thanks!

 

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AUDIO CLIPS
ON FORESTS & TREES

Rating: 3 of 5 - Good, worth a listen NPR

Once Resilient, Trees in the West Now More Vulnerable to Fires — 29 Jul 2013 — Every few decades, nature cleans house in the forest. It burns the understory and brush—the "ladder fuels" that might carry a fire up into the tree canopy if they accumulate too much. Excessive fuel buildup can lead to the kind of fire that kills forests. But scientists are discovering that some trees in the West that previously would survive and thrive with small fires are now losing their ability to do so.
Go to page  |  Download/Listen   3:25

Rating: 3 of 5 - Good, worth a listen NPR

Big-Mouthed Toucans Key To Forest Evolution — 31 May 2013 — The jucara, the dominant palm tree in the Brazilian Atlantic rainforest, is dependent on the toucan—a bird with an almost comically giant bill that can be half as long as its body—to disperse its large seeds. But as more humans have moved into Brazil's Atlantic coastal forests, the increased hunting, logging, and farming have taken a toll on the number of toucans. Now scientists have discovered that the drop-off in birds is reshaping the forest as well—and that's not a good thing.
Go to page  |  Download/Listen   3:20

Rating: 3 of 5 - Good, worth a listen Living On Earth

Climate Action, REDD, and the Congo Basin — 31 May 2013 — REDD—a scheme that aims to reduce greenhouse gas emissions from deforestation—could be the fastest, least expensive way to stall global warming AND preserve the Congo Basin's trees and ecosystems. Alex Chadwick and producer Christopher Johnson traveled to the Congo Basin to investigate the high stakes of protecting the carbon-rich forest, the wildlife, and people who live there.
Go to page  |  Download/Listen   49:00

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