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FUNNY TREES/FORESTS QUOTES
We'll leave it up to you to bark out the laughs when you read these funny quotes about forests and trees.
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"As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree'—probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on."
— Woody Allen
"Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them."
— Bill Vaughan
"Always watch where you are going. Otherwise, you may step on a piece of the Forest that was left out by mistake."
— from Pooh's Little Instruction Book, inspired by A. A. Milne
"Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong."
— George Carlin
"I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all."
— Ogden Nash
"If a tree falls in the woods, and there's no one there to hear it, how will the environmentalists react?"
— Anonymous
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FREE AUDIO CLIPS
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"I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap."
— Rodney Dangerfield
"I am as frustrated with society as a pyromaniac in a petrified forest."
— A. Whitney Brown
"If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?"
— Jenny Weber
"If a tree falls in a forest and lands on a politician, even if you can't hear the tree or the screams, I'll bet you'd at least hear the applause."
— Paul Tindale
"A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense."
— Proverb
"Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exception of a moose singing 'Embraceable You' in spats."
— Woody Allen
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Making Contact
The Burning Issue—America's War on Fire —
18 Sep 2012 —
Every summer, wildfires torch thousands of acres of land; some years more than others. For every fire, the National Forest Service rushes to the rescue—to save lives, homes, and communities. But is the agency's approach to fire doing more harm than good? Ecologists say yes, and even some firefighters are starting to agree. But the issue is far from settled.
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Download/Listen
28:56
Living On Earth
Study Models How Climate Change Stokes Wildfires — 15 Jun 2012 — According to a new modeling study, within a generation, climate change will increase the frequency of wild fires across most of the globe. Atmospheric scientist Katharine Hayhoe explains how hotter temperatures, drought, and changing rain patterns will increase wildfires on 80% of the planet.
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Download/Listen
6:49
Radio Ecoshock
Why are Forests Dying Around the World? — 16 May 2012 — Forests around the world are dying from insects, fungus, drought, and heat. But the underlying drivers are climate change and ozone pollution. Activist Gail Zawacki explains how ground-level ozone is damaging trees and crops—and our lungs.
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1:00:00
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This is a cute 4-minute short film about how South American soy plantations are destroying rainforests to supply cheap feed for cattle in the UK (and elsewhere, BTW). Watch soy plantation/rainforest video.
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