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Issue #194

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THE PROBLEMS OF BASEBALL PLAYERS IN

 
cartoon image of old-timer baseball player holding baseball

THE OLD-TIMERS LEAGUE:

 
   
baseball mitt (callout for gag 1) Tough to steal a base using a walker
baseball mitt (callout for gag 1) Home-plate umpire always unfairly accusing pitcher of throwing illegal "Ben Gay ball"
baseball mitt (callout for gag 1) Try to spit a little tobacco juice and—whoops!—there go the teeth again
 
 

THE EVER-POPULAR TORTURED SEGUE CM

Mitt Ball
     — bitter ex-Old Timer
"I played in the Old Timers League for a while, but I got very annoyed when they banned Steroid-Enriched Geritol. Then I found out you can't sign any multi-million dollar contracts without losing Social Security benefits. The final straw was when the fans stopped keeping box score and started keeping pine box score."


graphic of old-timer holding baseball

Hot summer days may be great for being out at the old ball game, but in the Arctic, the heat is throwing the planet a spitball. Find out about it in Grinning Planet's article, Global Warming / Melting Ice ...

Or see more  funny cartoons

 
 

ADVERT

Zap it back to life! Rechargeable batteries at Amazon dot com; click to go to Amazon in new window
 
FUNNY BASEBALL QUOTES
 

"Baseball hasn't forgotten me. I go to a lot of old-timers games and I haven't lost a thing. I sit in the bullpen and let people throw things at me. Just like old times."

Bob Uecker

"Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer."

Ted Williams

"Baseball is like church. Many attend, few understand."

Leo Durocher

"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base."

Dave Barry

 
 

See more Funny baseball Quotes ...

Search Amazon.com for more

 

INFO-ADS

Peak Oil Book listing on Grinning Planet .com
 
foreground words say Bulk Foods - Stock Up Here; background words say Energy, Commodity Prices, Peak Oil, Financial Chaos
 
NEWS HEADLINE:
    Vinyl Shower Curtains Release 100 Toxic Chemicals   READ
BETTER SOLUTION:
    100% Cotton Shower Curtain   AT AMAZON.COM
 
 
ARTICLES / GREEN STUFF

CLIMATE-CHANGE SKEPTICS’ ARGUMENTS MELTING AWAY LIKE ARCTIC ICE

Ice-melting horror shows are playing in theaters globally this summer—from the ice sheets in Greenland and Antarctica to the permafrost of Siberia, from Glacier National Park to the snow cap on Kilimanjaro. The planet has become the Wicked Witch of the West—"I'm mellllting!" Find out what it means for the future of humans on the planet ... in Grinning Planet's feature article, Global Warming / Melting Ice ...

QUOTH THE MAVEN

Pope Benedict, 17 July 2008:
"Perhaps reluctantly we come to acknowledge that there are also scars which mark the surface of our Earth—erosion, deforestation, the squandering of the world's mineral and ocean resources in order to fuel an insatiable consumption." See Mongabay coverage of the speech.

WHAT’S THE REMEDY FOR YOUR ST. PETER PROBLEM?

The Pope's recent remarks on humanity's tendency to make a mess of the planet brought to mind a cartoon we did few years ago, Problems You May Encounter After You Die. It was a pure "funny toon," not a political or green cartoon. But now we would be inclined to add the following to the heavenly punch-line list:
Non-stop phone calls from your kids asking why the envelope marked "my beloved children" contained nothing but planetary bills.  More seriously, if you suddenly feel the eco-spirit stirring within you, a good place to learn more about the connection between religion and environment is at the web site of the National Religious Partnership for the Environment.

THE PEAKISTS ARE COMING!
THE PEAKISTS ARE COMING!

Like some crazed electronic horseman galloping through inboxes and browsers, shouting out the alarm, Grinning Planet is determined to alert people to the need for personal preparation regarding Peak Oil and related "disruption events." We recently published a thorough, 8-page Peak Oil FAQ, but some people wanted a shorter version they could forward to friends and family, so here's a 1-page version: Peak Oil Summary

TUNE IN TO ZAGER & EVANS:
“IN THE YEAR 2525”

One of the most out-there, futuristic songs to ever make the Top 40. Great stuff about where we're going as a species.
In the year 9595,
I'm kind a wond'rin' if man is gonna be alive—
He's taken everything this old earth can give
And he ain't put back nothin' . . .


Amazon options:
-- Hear clip or download MP3
-- Check out CD

See more Green Stuff

 

 

 
SERIOUS AND (CLEAN) FUNNY
MULTIMEDIA -- ANIMATIONS, VIDEO, AUDIO, MORE ...
 
JUST PLAIN FUNNY
 
George Carlin on stage; click to go to video page at external site; opens in new window
BASEBALL VS. FOOTBALL
A funny (and clean) bit from George Carlin that compares baseball and football. Free via YouTube. Go there


More George Carlin options on Amazon.com:
-- MP3 download of Baseball and Football (slightly different ver.)
-- Comedy CDs
-- Comedy DVDs


Related GP cartoons:
-- Football and Religion
-- Old-Timer Baseball

 
ECO FUNNY
 
cartoon image of smokey the bear with shovel; click to go to animation page at external site; opens in new window
SMOKEY THE REGRETFUL
This Mark Fiore animation heads into the dense US forest policy, slashing through the tangled underbrush of issues, burning the deadwood that passes for forest managers, and smoking out the verminous politicos who let it all happen. Content no longer available from host site (Mark.Fiore.com)  

Related GP cartoon:
Wood Joke/Cartoon

Related GP article:
Smarter Wood/Paper

 
ECO/ENERGY SERIOUS
 
the work PEAK over a barrel of oil
CHRIS NELDER ON PEAK OIL
Chris Nelder is co-author of the book Profit from the Peak (Amazon.com), and in this Financial Sense interview, he does touch on the investing angle of energy and oil depletion. But more importantly, he spends lots of time giving us an overview of where things stand on oil, discussing the merits of various propositions from politicians and pundits, and explaining that we're likely facing a very serious, almost unavoidable crisis. This is one of the best Peak Oil interviews we've heard lately. Go there. Go to audio page

Related GP articles:
-- Peak Oil FAQ
-- Peak Oil & Environment
-- Peak Oil Solutions

 
 
 
JUST PLAIN FUNNY #2
 
Bob Newhart on phone; click to go to video page at external site; opens in new window
YOU CAN'T WIN 'EM ALL
In this full-length episode from the first season of The Bob Newhart Show, a star pitcher for the Chicago Cubs baseball team publicly credits psychologist Bob Hartley with saving his career. The endorsement brings Bob a new player-patient ... with funny results. Free via Hulu.com. Go there

More Bob Newhart options on Amazon.com:
Comedy MP3s
Comedy CDs
TV shows on DVD

Related GP cartoon:
Psychologist Joke/Cartoon

 
FUNNY MONEY
 
graphic of man with fist full of money, laughing
MONEY-GO-ROUND
SPINNING OFF ITS AXIS

With events in the real world of finance whirling crazily into distinctly unfunny territory, the best we can do is advise you to put one hand on your wallet and the other hand on the Laugh button. Funny audio from The Onion.

-- Treasury Releases Doubloons
-- Federal Reserve - Butterflies
-- Stock Market On Boron
-- Stocks Plunge - Spider

Related GP cartoon:
Federal Budget Math

Related GP article:
Understanding Plutocracy

 
RECOMMENDED MOVIE
 
image from DVD cover of Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
ICE AGE 2: THE MELTDOWN
Forget about this film's barely green creds; the slapstick action, funny dialogue, and lovable characters make Ice Age: The Meltdown very entertaining just as a movie....  Read full review of Ice Age 2: The Meltdown

Related GP pages:
-- More Global Warming Movies
-- Global Warming & Melting Ice

 
 
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