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Online Therapy Joke

Beware cartoon psychiatry and bad online therapy joke pages -- like this one!

         
 

SIGNS THAT YOU’VE ENCOUNTERED A
BAD ONLINE THERAPY SERVICE:

 
  cartoon of man sitting on couch with laptop, picture of Freud in background on wall  
 
The site has a huge ‘About Us’ section but no ‘About Me’ section
 
 
The site’s background music is the Styx song “Fooling Yourself”
 
 
The site helps you get rid of your gambling and substance abuse problems while it helps you acquire an addiction to the internet
 
 
 
 
TerraBits

Annie Mossity
     — Feely, Montana
"First, I tried several times to use online therapy sites to get help with my fear of the outdoors and open spaces, but I could never stop myself from closing the site's windows. Then I signed up for the 'Family Therapy' class but got overwhelmed by all the pop-up ads for Ozzy Osborne's family freak show. Now I've had to switch to the 'Anger Management' class. Jeez—drinking was never this hard."

cartoon of angry woman sharpening pencils with much more force than necessary

Is your lawn in need of therapy? Find out how to do it without resorting to nature-altering chemicals by reading our organic lawn care article...

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SONGS FOR A PLANET IN NEED OF THERAPY
 
  “Deep Peace”
      – Donovan, from the album Sutras
 
 

Deep peace of the running wave to you;
Deep peace of the flowing air to you;
Deep peace of the quiet Earth to you;
Pure green of the emerald grass to you;
Deep peace, deep peace . . .   more

 

album cover for Sutras, by Donovan Album Review: Donovan's 1996 album Sutras was his first studio effort in more than a decade, and it proved that he still had the magic. While the album has a bit of the rock-and-folk feel that rooted Donovan's lighter hits like "Wear Your Love Like Heaven," "Jennifer Juniper" and "Lalena," Sutras is a unique album in Donovan's catalog. As the name implies, Sutras is steeped in the thoughts, ways, and wisdom of the ancient East. The music and words flow around you, soothing your ears and mind at the same time. But it's not wishy-washy new-age music; it has well formed, interesting songs. It's always tempting to try to identify a "best song" on an album.... On Sutras, perhaps it's "Deep Peace," a gentle, elegant treatment of an old Irish earth poem that will have you closing your eyes in appreciation. Or maybe it's "The Way," an upbeat folkish tune that could have fit on any of Donovan's earlier folk-pop-rock albums. Or it could be the haunting "Everlasting Sea," a metaphor that connects love of person to love of Earth. Or it might be "Nirvana," a hypnotic, grinding folk-dirge. Or it could even be the closing song on Sutras, the awe-inspiring "Universe Am I." (By the end of the song you are likely to believe it.) But the strength of Sutras lies not in individual songs, however worthy, but rather in the whole work, a triumph of spirit and musicianship. Listeners looking only for the more rocked-out side of Donovan—as they heard in songs like "Hurdy Gurdy Man" or "Sunshine Superman"—won't find it here; but those who like Donovan's lighter side will be pleased and uplifted by Sutras. Whether you're lying on emerald grass or weedy lawn as you stare up at the calming sky—or whether you're just sitting in a chair in front of your green computer screen—you are hereby encouraged to take a dose of Donovan and reacquaint yourself with the cosmos.

 

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