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Issue #196

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PUBLIC SPEAKING AWARDS
PEOPLE SHOULD TRY TO
AVOID GETTING:

 
  funny cartoon of listless man at lectern speaking; five crickets are at bottom; caption says '...and cue crickets'
     
"Most Natural Monotone"
     
 
"Longest Silence After an
Off-Color Joke"
     
 
"Best Non-Prescription
Sleep Aid"
     
 
"Highest Gross Weight of
Rotten Produce Thrown On-Stage"
 
 
 

THE EVER-POPULAR TORTURED SEGUE CM

Lacey Peek
     — Pants Butte, Nebraska
"At my last speaking engagement, I had the unfortunate experience of getting the award for 'Most Prominent Accidentally Exposed Undergarment' ... "


Whether you think a politician is an honest and brilliant speaker or is instead deserving of awards like "Most Uhms in A Speech" or "Grandest Gaffe," the one thing today's political pontificators all seem to have in common is pandering, oversimplifications, and double-talk on environment and energy issues.

cartoon image of woman in short skirt

To arm yourself against such spurious speechifying, check out our updated piece on environmental doublespeak ...

Or see more  funny cartoons  or  funny quotes on public speaking

 
 

INFO-AD

A few Grinning Planet picks of worthy books and movies about American empire, democracy, elections, and the dangers of totalitarian rule (on Amazon.com)
 
FUNNY QUOTES RELATED TO  Public Speaking
 

"Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary."

Evan Esar

"A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success."

Robert Orben

"What this country needs is more free speech worth listening to."

Hansell B. Duckett

 
 

See more Funny Public Speaking Quotes ...

 

ADVERT

foreground words say Bulk Foods - Stock Up Here; background words say Energy, Commodity Prices, Peak Oil, Financial Chaos
 
ARTICLES / GREEN STUFF

ELECTION 2008:  WASTING YOUR VOTE?

There's a concept among voters that if the candidate you really prefer has no apparent chance of winning, then it's a waste of your vote to check the box for that candidate. To address this issue, we've been forced to break out our light sabers. See our article, Wasting Your Vote — The Voters' Choice in 2008: Darth Vader, The Emperor, or Luke Skywalker.

TURNING GREEN OVER THE ELECTION

Do you think our politicians should do better at addressing air and water pollution, chemicals in household products, and the need for clean energy? Then you might want to check out our environmental voting guide and our article Why Vote Green? ...

DUMBO MUMBO-JUMBO

We don't hear that much about environmental issues on the news these days, but when we do hear it, it's sometimes hard to separate the info from the spin-fo. To help you decipher the code words, Grinning Planet presents an update of our Environmental Doublespeak article.

MEDIA-OCRITY

When it comes to politics, democracy, and the many other challenges of our lives, media play a central role. But, unfortunately, their value is usually negative, leaving us uninformed at best and propagandized at worst. What ever happened to true investigative journalism? Why has the press stopped doing it's job of counterbalancing those in power? Why is "media concentration" a death sentence for informative local TV, radio, and newspaper coverage? How does mainstream media send inappropriate social signals to our children and adolescents? There are lots of great books on these topics, and we have collected them on our recently upgraded Media Books list.

TUNE IN ... EMERSON, LAKE & PALMER — “BLACK MOON”

An excellent and uncharacteristically activist song from ELP. As for the album of the same name, it's one of the few times a formerly great rock band put out something new that really was "sort of like their old stuff."
LYRICS SNIPPET:
We never learn—
Even deserts burn,
And all politicians lie.
They won't do nothin'
'Til we reach high noon...
Black Moon...

Amazon options:
-- Hear clip or download MP3
-- Check out CD

 

 

 
SERIOUS AND (CLEAN) FUNNY
MULTIMEDIA -- ANIMATIONS, VIDEO, AUDIO, MORE ...
 
JUST PLAIN FUNNY
 
Bush at lectern; click to go to video page at external site; opens in new window
BUSHISMS VIDEO REVIEW
Well, love him or hate him, he'll be gone soon—barring a total usurpation of constitutional authority—and we will all be deprived of the grand gaffes and gargantuan goofs that gush from his grinning gob. The next president is almost certain to bring a decline in entertainment (and embarrassment) value, so enjoy him while you can ... with this 1-minute review of some of Bush Jr.'s worst public speaking flubs. At Google Video. Go there

Related GP cartoon:
Public Speaking Cartoon

Related GP article:
Environmental Doublespeak

 
MONEY FUNNY
 
press secretary at lectern
FUNNY BAILOUT BUFFET
Humor does not stop just because our elected leaders are selling us down the river. Here at GP, we're gonna laugh all the way to the poorhouse. Join in the grunting and guffawing with a few funny 'net clips.

$1,000,000,000,000 Bailout -- A faux, deadpan-humor White House press conference on the bailout....from Funny Or Die.

The Colbert Report -- More edgy, more funny: "Vladimir Putin's just jealous because America is winning the economic meltdown race."

 
WAY SERIOUS
 
red streak of fire on black background
RUPPERT-O-RAMA
Former LA police investigator Mike Ruppert has spent much of the last decade trying to alert us all to the dangers of peak oil and the dangerous criminal behavior exhibited by The Powers That Be. Those of us who have taken heed of his reports and predictions and have changed our lives to be more prepared for troubled times ahead are in his debt. If you are not yet familiar with Ruppert, below are some links to his current work and "greatest hits."

-- Current stuff:   [1] From the Wilderness' Peak Oil Blog   [2] The Shell Game (a novel by Steve Alten based partly on Ruppert's work)

-- Some excellent material from the 2004-2005 timeframe — all very interesting to re-experience, given what we now know about the housing bubble, how money works, peak oil, geopolitics, and 9/11. Ruppert's timelines are a little off, but he nails the trends and underlying machinations:   [1] From The Wilderness (archive of old articles)   [2] Crossing The Rubicon (book)   [3] The Truth and Lies of 9/11 (GoogleVideo)   [4] interview with Els Cooperrider (GPM audio)

 
 
 
ELECTION FUNNY
 
photo of fake political analyst; click to go to video page at external site; opens in new window
HOW TO PRETEND YOU CARE ABOUT THE ELECTION
This video short features a man who is supposedly an actor pretending to be a political analyst offering phony tips on how you can fake political acumen—perfect for our faux democratic electoral system! Funny stuff from The Onion. Go there

Related GP cartoons:
Ethics Cartoon
Fake News Cartoon

Related GP article:
Election Choice:
The Emperor, Darth Vader, or Luke Skywalker


 
ECO FUNNY
 
cartoon of coastal oil wells; click to go to animation page at external site; opens in new window
DRILL, BABY, DRILL!
A wild-eyed poke at the oil-drilling frenzy currently in vogue among our Washington officials. (Somehow they failed to get the memo that we can't drill our way out of our oil-addiction problem.) Funny stuff from animator Mark Fiore. Go there

Related GP pages:
-- Oil Spill Cartoon
-- Peak Oil/Energy Solutions

 
ECO SERIOUS
 
temperature map of world; click to go to interactive media page at external site; opens in new window
CLIMATE TIME MACHINE
This very cool interactive tool lets you visualize Arctic ice melt, global CO2 emissions, and global temperatures over various timeframes. You can also see estimates of coastal inundation for various sea level rise amounts—all just by moving the slide control back and forth. Excellent! And scary! From NASA. Go there

Related GP article:
Global Warming vs. Climate Change

 
 
See more... Funny Multimedia  |  Environmental Multimedia  |  Environmental Songs  |  Books  |  Movies
 

 

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