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"Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we've been bombing over the years been complaining?"
— George Wallace
"We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, 'You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.'"
— Elayne Boosler
"When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship."
— Dick Gregory
"My rule is: If you meet the weakest vessel, attack. If it is a vessel equal to yours, attack. And if it is stronger than yours, also attack."
— Stepan O. Makarov, Russian Admiral
"Onward we stagger, and if the tanks come, may God help the tanks."
— Col. William O. Darby, US Rangers
See more . . .
Funny Military Quotes
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Or search for jokes/cartoons on a specific subject.
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ARE WE GIVING THE ROBOTS THAT RUN OUR SOCIETY TOO MUCH POWER?
A very sharp clip that fast forwards a few years into the future, when robots may have accumulated a bit too much control over us. There's also a metaphor here for people's blithe acceptance of increasingly totalitarian states run by humans, but just on its roboty merits, this is very funny. From The Onion. Go there
Related GP cartoon:
Robot Cartoon / Bad Personal Care Products
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FIRST THERE IS A MOUNTAIN,
THEN THERE IS NO MOUNTAIN,
THEN THERE IS ....
This is a really fine 5-minute animation that humorously takes on the serious topic of mountain-top removal mining and the disconnect between distant coal mining and how we just flip on a power switch in our homes. It's more targeted at kids, but I can tell you that this adult enjoyed it just fine! From Green Gorilla/ SustainLane and FreeRange Graphics. Go there
Related GP article:
Coal - Mining, Power Generation, and Problems
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MORE FUNNY
PROGRESSIVE ANIMATIONS, VIDEOS. ETC. STUFF |
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CLAP ON, CLAP OFF!
What gift do all corporate executives want most this year? The Clapper! Only this is the "Free-Market Clapper," and clapping results in huge piles of risk-free cash, whether they face boom or bust. For these big wigs, it's The Best Of Times and ...um... More Best of Times. "Please, sir, may I have some more?" Funny stuff from Mark Fiore. Go there
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NATION’S WEALTHY CRUELLY DEPRIVED OF TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS
Anytime someone compares low wages for working stiffs to ridiculous pay packages for CEOs, free-market flacks are quick to deride it as "class warfare." Of course, in reality, there is no class war. It's already over—and the rich won. But fret not: the poor still have an advantage in the fullness of their Christmas spirit, and all the high-tech toys and Tiffany baubles in the world can't touch that, right? Pity those wretched, cheer-challenged rich folk, forced to drown their holiday sorrows in glasses of $100 wine.... Satire from The Onion. Go there
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THE GEORGE W. BUSH FREEDOM LIBERRY AND FAMILY FUN CENTER
Now that the 2008 election is over, what will become of that wascally White House wabbit? Well, in the manor of all former US presidents, striving to do good in the world after their tour of doodie in the White House is done, George W. Bush is planning something ...er... along those lines. Funny animation from Mark Fiore. Go there
Related GP cartoons:
-- Things That Worry President
-- Failed Amusement Parks
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DRILL, BABY, DRILL!
A wild-eyed poke at the oil-drilling frenzy currently in vogue among our Washington officials. (Somehow they failed to get the memo that we can't drill our way out of our oil-addiction problem.) Funny stuff from animator Mark Fiore. Go there
Related GP pages:
-- Oil Spill Cartoon
-- Peak Oil/Energy Solutions
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FUNNY BAILOUT BUFFET
Humor does not stop just because our elected leaders are selling us down the river. Here at GP, we're gonna laugh all the way to the poorhouse. Join in the grunting and guffawing with a few funny 'net clips.
$1,000,000,000,000 Bailout
-- A faux, deadpan-humor White House press conference on the bailout....from Funny Ordie.
The Dark Bailout
-- A strangely clever mix of clips from The Dark Knight Batman film and President Bush describing his bailout plan... from Spike.
The Daily Show
-- An edgy but funny rant that blasts just about everybody associated with passing the bailout.
The Colbert Report
-- More edgy, more funny: "Vladimir Putin's just jealous because America is winning the economic meltdown race."
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SCIENCE IDOL 2008
Each year for the last several years, the Union of Concerned Scientists has held a cartoon contest to highlight the problem of Scientific Integrity---politicians ignoring, burying, and lying about scientific results that run counter to their policy preferences, as well as the problem of government muzzling scientists and colluding with the industries they're supposed to be regulating. This year's cartoony results are in! Laugh and think ... by checking out the top dozen toons from the contest.
Go there.
Related pages:
-- A to Z Guide to Political Interference in Science
-- UCS Scientific Integrity section
-- GP Scientific Integrity cartoon
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CHINA CELEBRATES ITS STATUS AS WORLD’S NUMBER ONE AIR POLLUTER
Now that the Beijing Olympics are over, China can get back to polluting properly! Enjoy this great dead-pan video satire on the subject, which uses the angle that politicians will try to put a happy face on just about any bad news. Funny stuff from The Onion. Go there
Related GP article:
Major Air Pollutants
Related GP cartoon:
Air Pollutants Cartoon
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SMOKEY THE REGRETFUL
This Mark Fiore animation heads into the dense US forest policy, slashing through the tangled underbrush of issues, burning the deadwood that passes for forest managers, and smoking out the verminous politicos who let it all happen. Go there
Related GP cartoon:
Wood Joke/Cartoon
Related GP article:
Smarter Wood/Paper
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THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON CONSCIOUSNESS
One thing is clear to us here at Grinning Planet—if modern civilization is going to eventually work through the unfolding multifaceted super-crisis and arrive on the other side with something like a workable society, we're going to need to shift our consciousness and paradigms from what they are now. One good way to start that process is for all of us to listen to more of the
C-Realm Podcast,
a weekly 1-hour audio show that weaves together topics like peak oil, permaculture, societal transformation, and future realities, all with a certain sensible mysticism found nowhere else in cyber-radio. A good starting place is
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