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PROFILE OF A “PROBLEM DIETER”: |
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| Gets down on the carpet and begs while the dog is eating dinner |
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| Tries to instigate food fights, hoping to intercept a few projectiles |
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| Complains about the unfairness of "being excluded from the food chain" |
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| Explains his evenings away from home by saying he's been having an affair, but in reality has been sneaking out for ice cream |
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Hugo Massey
— Munchie, Indiana
"I suspected my wife was really struggling with her new no-desserts diet when she started calling out 'Ooh! Willy Wonka!' in her sleep."
In reality, was Willy Wonka's chocolate factory a temple of good health? Find out in our article about
Chocolate and Health ...
Or go to list of jokes
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ADVERT
| FUN WITH LYRICS FOR ... “Diet” |
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You were on a liquid diet;
You were sure you had to try it—
And you lost all your pounds.
The doctor's on vacation,
So you took the medication—
And wound up in lost and found.
from "Precious Time" by Pat Benatar
. . . from the album Synchronistic Wanderings (Box Set)
For reviews/clips, check out CD on Amazon.com
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Some people say
That oysters make you come on strong;
But I don't buy it—
I don't believe my diet turns me on.
Won't take no pills;
That's the last thing that I need to do.
I can't deny it—my aphrodisiac is you.
from "My Aphrodisiac Is You" by Katie Melua
. . . from the album Call off the Search
For reviews/clips, check out CD on Amazon.com
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Stabilize the mood you're in;
You're back on diet food again.
Bigger is the best,
But only in the chest—
Yeah! What a way to wanna be . . .
from "What A Way To Wanna Be!" by Shania Twain
. . . from the album Up!
For reviews/clips, check out CD on Amazon.com
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GRINNING PLANET ... pointing out the world's best albums |
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Search Amazon.com for more | See more Fun With Lyrics
See more Fun With Lyrics
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ADVERT
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Funny Quote
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"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
– Totie Fields
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Notable Quotable
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"Personally, I would drink hot cocoa in the morning, green tea in the afternoon, and a glass of red wine in the evening. That's a good combination."
– Chang Y. Lee, Cornell University food scientist on how to get a diverse array of antioxidants from your beverages
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CHOCOLATE & HEALTH
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